January Trading Journals

Originally posted by Magna
From a previous post of mine made to Candle on 11/15/01:

For someone who is getting more and more zen-like as the months go by, I'm surprised that the many incarnations of tradeRX tick you off so much!

Hmmm, almost seems like the devil needs God...and God needs the devil. When Commisso asked if ProTrader1 is Candle's alter-ego he may have been onto something (not literally, but metaphorically). :)
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Yes, Protrader (aks TradeRX) is somewhat of an antidote for me... an alter ego, a friend, and a trading brother... my zen-like progression forces me to see the good in him.
 
I must say, I find Protrader _really_ funny. I especially liked:

"candle, u no what is an illusion??? LIFE! life is an illusion, almost a cruel joke. we learn, we feel, we think, we mourn, we love, we believe...and 4 what?? we r here but 4 a brief second then poof...gOne 4 ever. nothing left. no consciousness, no sentience, NOTHING! GONE! never to be seen or heard from again. the universe is so unfeeling, so colddd. nothing matters. we shall all B gone soon enuf. i am not a religous man, i have no belief in afterlife, you C, i am a man of reason. A man of science. Not a foolish dreamer of gawds and ghosts. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! another shot......... thank gawd 4 tequila...."

ROTFLOL

nitro
 
duffer,

Plenty of us south of the border don't have any time for that crap either, but in these PC times where everybody has to be neutured and turned into a feminized new male, you can ruin a good career by appearing opposed to it. I think that's why WWF is so popular.
 
Yeah, it is ruining society.
Too bad some unwise people haven't figured out that the ability to destroy things is not real power. In most cases, arson, vandalism, etc., you go to jail for it, but destroy a family or a society and your called a hero or a visionary. The Big Lie.
Key words- change, diversity, anything with an "ism" after it.
 
Originally posted by dufferdon
In my experience (and I do hope this is not racial stereotyping) Chinese people in particular seem to be very superstitious by western standards, believing a lot more in luck, for example, than we do.
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hmmm.. i think stockk is from hong kong.. which is almost more english than chinese.. but even on mainland china i didnt notice the people being overly superstitious.. im no china expert, but one thing you will find among the chinese is that they view failure in very harsh terms.. if you are not able to pass elementary school exams (7th or 8th grade) then you are booted out of the school system to become a guard or menial laborer.. and only a small handful of high school graduates are accepted to their universities.. its sort of a status thing.. sometimes when you meet an older person and you are exchanging small talk.. the older person will comment that they "graduated from the 5th grade".. position and respect are very important there.. and if you fail at something, its a very big deal.. because then you have lost face.. in the west we see failure as something that just happens and is no ones fault.. in china, if you fail thats what you are.. if that makes sense.. so the chinese take everything very seriously.. and is likely the reason for hitmans "i must this, i must that" approach..

-qwik
 
from QK:
"and is likely the reason for hitmans "i must this, i must that" approach.. "

I think that "i must this, i must that" is just part of hitman's "ABSOLUTENESS" style. When I read his stuff, if something he wants to do, he'll tell himself "I must ..."
 
"The force is strong with him" - Star Wars
"May the Schwartz be with you" - Spaceballs

I love watching Star Wars (all episodes) whenever I have a draw down. I love the concept of the force and the Jedi. At my level of trading experience, it comes down to KNOWING that I will be taking money out of the market if I am at the top form of my game.

Another movie that I like watching is the Matrix. When Keanu sees the Matrix for what it is at the end of the movie he can beat it.

I feel this sense of security and harmony when I watch my trading screen. I know that the force is with me, and I can see feel and breath the market just like Keanu sees the Matrix.

I guess they call it psychology or being in the Zone. As a trader, it is the best feeling in the world. And when it becomes so easy and boring, you take a break and write a book, or give a lecture to 600 people who want nothing more than to have your gift. They want to be like you. This hopefully charges your batteries and you get back in the Zone.

Unfortunately, there are other things that require your time and energy. And most of the time these "things" are something you love and care about. My challenge has been to balance it all. And unfortunately, I haven't been able to do it in the most efficient way. This is my New Year resolution. I want to make an effort to balance my life, so I am the happiest I could be.


May the force be with all of you.

Tony
 
When you are cold, even if you have the best of the best calls, you still struggle. Quite honestly, this is not funny anymore the way I am blowing lay-ups like crazy. Psychologically, I am shot. Friday's blow-out on what was a great trading day left a serious impact on my trading, and at several crucial points I stopped believing in my shots.

21800 shares each way on 8 of 22 shooting, +713 before commissions, +3 (not a typo) after, 4 bullets. I just got my check from last pay period and the way I see it, I won't get one this time around with a $1600 deficit. If I am playing anywhere close to my true capability, I will have an excellent chance to make that money in 3 days. But given the way I am playing scared and churning in and out of trades like mad, if I can cut this thing to under $500 by the end of pay period I will be very happy.

What I can not forgive myself was that yesterday I was up $450 and I really wanted to stop. Today I was up $350 and I wanted to stop too. Both days I gave back everything through churning. Now, neither day can be considered a great day, but they are right on my average, and when you are starving, you take whatever crumb off the table to regain some strength so you can fight for bigger pieces.

My group was profitable as a team today, two of the guys that just started trading won their opener. They talked to me about that real time filter thing again and I am in no position to argue with results, I have to talk to the MIS guys and get a second screen so they can use it. My contract will finally be finished tommorrow (at least they promised it), but right now I am so embarrassed with my performance I almost don't want it to be announced.

Hopefully by year end I can write something like "I was able to overcome a brutal start", and be happy again. I need to pick myself up tommorrow, I am up $100 for the week after four games, fear is in my veins and I need to get a few $500 day's to get my touch back.

Pre-Market: I didn't get filled on any gappers. I put in 20 orders for 10 stocks, no fill, no game. REIT downgrades but none of the stocks are tradable. Some negativity in oil sector but after so many failed bullets I didn't try any today.

9:30: Shorted MWD off the open on XBD sell-off and lost 20 cents immediately. A lot of RLX stocks gapped down but ran hard. I figured TGT will do the same thing, and as soon as I saw futures giving a little breathing room (market looked weak but I saw no serious selling volume in stocks I watched so I anticipated a reversal). Also picked up BJ. Now, call it the "getting smoked in RLX" syndrome, because I did such a disgusting job with RLX yesterday it got into my skins today. I sold my shares for 30-40 cents a piece with the stock having zero downtick, what hell, but a stop under the BID, don't sell market! Futures ripped but I knew it was no breakout, and I was right. But those two stocks just ran and ran and I couldn't believe how stupid I was to get out of stocks that didn't even downtick. Had ACF long for a quarter and I was able to get out at the top for that one. Got CCU on futures rip and seriously I thought it was just a squeeze but I scored just 30 cents and again, left a lot of profit on the table. Yes, futures was choppy, and I did anticipate the futures pullback perfectly, but my stocks were a lot stronger than I thought, especially with the positive retail news those things ran hard. I was up $350, and already I wanted to take it home as the futures looked very choppy.

10:00: Tried to bottom pick energy and churned. Went long in DOX and lost 10 cents. Went long in EMR and lost 10 cents. Went bullet on BJ/LEN and immediately I heard someone talking about BJ on CNBC, stock broke through unchanged and ripped, I covered immediately barely got my bullet cost back. LEN was strong in the morning. Then, I did something very stupid. I didn't trust my discipline, and I rebated both bullets for $7 a piece as I knew they were very strong stocks and I would be tempted to short them every time when futures come in, and I was having the GS syndrome (how NOT to short a stock as strong as GS last Friday).

11:00: Churned more energy stocks, I was flat, again, very upset.

1:30: Went long in AGE/LM on XBD/futures pop, flat on both.

2:30: CTX finally broke down and as I expected home builders are coming in hard. I did something I rarely do after 2:30PM, I put up a bullet in DHI and a bullet in PHM. I started shorting them before they tanked a point a piece. Somehow, someway, I lost money after commissions. Yes, futures went straight up and broke out, and there is no offer in those stocks, but CTX/LEN tanked hard and fast, WHY DIDN'T I HOLD? I churned and churned and churned. Follow your instinct, just because futures is going straight up doesn't mean you have to cover those.

3:30: As if an insult to my wound, the second I covered my last chunk of DHI he tanked 40 cents in one spread. When I saw that, I knew I had no hope left and it is time to stop and be able to say that I am 4 and 4 for the month.

Embarrassing execution, lack of confidence, and oh, my $1 egg drop soup for lunch didn't help. Why trade nice and trending home builders when you are laying up enough bricks to build a new house?

Qwik:

Thankfully there is someone who understands me. I believe in no religion except a certain Goddess. However, literally everyone who ever met me since I was a child told me that I am meant to be very, very successful. It is the pressure to live up to the expectations and the fear of defeat. Quite honestly, I have the best opportunity I can possibly ask for at the age of 22. I like where I am and I know I am capable of making it happen.

But in every losing streak I will doubt myself, as the question of whether I am as good as advertised haunts me. I would rather accept death (in her arms hopefully) over failure, because as I said before, I have walked past the point of no return too long ago I don't even remember what it looked like.

And when I know for a fact that I am not playing the way I should be playing, it really hurts, because I want it so badly to the point that with the exception of the princess there is nothing and absolutely nothing else that even remotely interests me anymore.

I never ever believe in luck. You will never hear me say "bad luck trade". It doesn't exist, I recognize it when I am lucky, but I do not recognize it when I am unlucky. I am responsible for every trade and every game is winnable unless I screw it up.
 
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