in over my head & looking for input

A

amex4

this is very relative to trading; just give me a moment to get there.

so about 5 years ago now i decided to put on the biggest trade of my life; marriage. imho the type of woman you date has a completely different criteria than the woman you marry. there were a couple of concerns i had going in about my prospective wife in terms of how we would really get along but decided to ignore them. let me just say this; that mantra"opposites attract" is a myth perpetuated by movies and television.

the sole reason and genesis for me specifically wanting to get married was to have children. i have been very blessed with a beautiful healthy baby boy and am thankful everyday. however we bat heads on certain issues with respect to our infant.

one of the big issues is that her dad is a heavy smoker. it drives me crazy, with all the scientific and medical data now out there with respect to third hand smoke and how bad this is for infants and they think its me who has a problem. my father-in-law is offended by my stance on him not smoking and physically interacting with my baby boy. its gotten now to the point of no return as my wife has taken his side along with her mom.

so here is where the trading part comes in now. naturally i have for the most part failed or broken even for many years prior. but of course, recently i go on the biggest run of my life (keep in mind i fully attribute this to QE & fed funds rate, etc. and take really not much credit and am very humbled by it all) BUT this run has all pretty much been with my wife's individual account and her money.

we live in an equitable distribution divorce state. and as i previously alluded to, the criteria or quality of women you marry is different; so one of the ways i hedged myself is the fact that my wife's salary is nearly 3X my salary. so in a worst case scenario i will not have to pay her any alimony.

regarding her brokerage account that i have been actively managing/trading on a daily basis- keep in mind, she is totally oblivious to the markets, i have made her just under $450K in approximately 5 years. so my question is in a worst case scenario, how would you proceed on that? i think a fair trade off would be not claiming any of that money even though i am entitled to 50%, in exchange for not paying child support. what seems reasonable on either side? would appreciate any input or especially anyone who has gone through similar circumstances.

thanks in advance.
 
Quote from amex4:

i have made her just under $450K in approximately 5 years. so my question is in a worst case scenario, how would you proceed on that? i think a fair trade off would be not claiming any of that money even though i am entitled to 50%, in exchange for not paying child support. what seems reasonable on either side? would appreciate any input or especially anyone who has gone through similar circumstances.

thanks in advance.
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You just asked a trading forum for an opinion of "fairness" on a legal problem pertaining to child support and managing your "equitable distribution divorced state" wife's brokerage account.

Are you insane?

On the other issues:

I do believe opposites attract, and I don't think people should smoke around children. How these are relevant to your question are beyond me, however.
 
Quote from jnbadger:

You just asked a trading forum for an opinion of "fairness" on a legal problem pertaining to child support and managing your "equitable distribution divorced state" wife's brokerage account.

Are you insane?

On the other issues:

I do believe opposites attract, and I don't think people should smoke around children. How these are relevant to your question are beyond me, however.
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based on the "Marriage - just don't" thread on here that is over 70 pages long, i do not think this is an unreasonable inquiry. that is the whole purpose of a message forum (to exchange experiences, thoughts, input amongst like minded individuals) or perhaps i am mistaken and just won't post here anymore. i can not imagine that no other trader in this forum has gone through a similar experience as i am right now.

yes opposites do attract initially. but when it comes down to the day-to-day reality of life as the years progress, those opposite traits can manifest into something more of a negative force on the relationship. i merely shared a few intimate details so as to not be judged negatively by others but i see that apparently did not work successfully.
 
Quote from jnbadger:

I don't think people should smoke around children.
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and by they way what you describe here is an example of second hand smoke. i am talking about third hand smoke. google is your friend.
 
Quote from amex4:


one of the big issues is that her dad is a heavy smoker. it drives me crazy, with all the scientific and medical data now out there with respect to third hand smoke

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How does third hand smoke differ from second hand smoke?
 
Quote from trendo:

How does third hand smoke differ from second hand smoke?
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third hand smoke is a new phenom that can potentially be the worst one yet. so even when a smoker steps outside your house and is ingesting a cigarette, as the cigarette is burning and they exhale, the detonation of all those toxic chemicals/poisons come out in a smoke like cloud from within the cigarette and are actually attaching to the smoker's hair, face, skin, hands, clothes, etc.

so now the smoker steps back into your house immediately upon completion, but as he sits on your furniture or goes into your refrigerator and touches your food, uses your bathroom, or touches your baby, those toxins are basically being spread all over the place. some of them are so potent that they are resistant to cleaners and just basically linger on your furniture, floors, etc. so what happens is over time you ingest these toxins.

there has been all kinds of research in recent years. that is why now a days if you have a new born, generally speaking the doctor will ask you a series of questions and among those are, is there a smoker in the immediate family. the recommendation is such that any smoker not directly come in physical contact with the baby and if you must because of a picture you should completely cover the person's upper body with a thick blanket and then let them hold the baby.

i am not trying to offend any smokers on here and its a free country, but statistically speaking i try to get any kind of edge possible and in this world where nothing is certain tomorrow i just don't see the risk/reward in smoking.
 
A judge is never going to sign off on any agreement that does not include child support. Every state has a formula. Look up the formula for your state.

As to that account which has been managed by one (or both) parties to a marraige, that is a joint marital asset. It's half hers and half yours. The only difference would be if it were funded by inheritance in which case the baseline inheritance which funded it would not be a marital asset but the gains would be a marital asset.

It sounds like you're ready for divorce. I didn't hear you mention that she is or that you and she are talking about it openly. I suggest you solve your problems. Divorce and broken families are bigger problems than what you are dealing with.

There has been first hand smoke, second hand smoke, all kinds of smoke forever. While there is some merit to it, keep in mind everyone with an agenda usually wears a tin foil hat and magnifies and distorts what they preach. That "third hand smoke" whatever that is, is not going to kill your kid today or tomorrow. Let it go. Kiss and make up. Wish her a Merry Christmas.
 
Quote from mgookin:

A judge is never going to sign off on any agreement that does not include child support. Every state has a formula. Look up the formula for your state.

As to that account which has been managed by one (or both) parties to a marraige, that is a joint marital asset. It's half hers and half yours. The only difference would be if it were funded by inheritance in which case the baseline inheritance which funded it would not be a marital asset but the gains would be a marital asset.

It sounds like you're ready for divorce. I didn't hear you mention that she is or that you and she are talking about it openly. I suggest you solve your problems. Divorce and broken families are bigger problems than what you are dealing with.

There has been first hand smoke, second hand smoke, all kinds of smoke forever. While there is some merit to it, keep in mind everyone with an agenda usually wears a tin foil hat and magnifies and distorts what they preach. That "third hand smoke" whatever that is, is not going to kill your kid today or tomorrow. Let it go. Kiss and make up. Wish her a Merry Christmas.
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divorce is not something that is imminent. but we are definitely at the lowest point of our relationship right now. i concur with your comment with respect to bigger problems being out there.

i should have prefaced the fact that i would be willing to hang in there if not for our kid alone. i was really fishing for more information in a worst case scenario and anyone with similar experiences or stories to share how things turned out for them or how they turn things around. there is not doubt that trading is negatively impacting this relationship. i am spending way too much testing platforms and algos, etc. have to do something about this now.

i appreciate your input and message. thank you.
 
Good work on accomplishing your goal in getting married ahole!

Go see a shrink and someone that can teach you how to write better.

Focus on yourself, your problems, leave other alone.
 
You wanted a kid… had a kid… now trying to shirk paying child support

Alimony be damned – as a father – you’re pathetic

Nut up and handle your responsibility

You brought a human into the world that had no say in the matter... nor anything to do with this mess you two made

Fuck

RN
 
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