Quote from Mav88:
I'm just saying that one obvious option is overlooked- go with someone who can pay their own way. Even better- she's got more cabbage than you do.
I'm no genius either. I did the step thingy, but the daughter was 19 and moved out to college (I made it clear my intention was not to take on another kid). Now she's 23 and on her own. I have no issues her and she's like a 'free kid'.
I was very careful in the minefield and it worked (so far), but I have seen mostly pain and trouble within step families when minor children are involved.