So if I read between the lines correctly...
In the beginning, you had a method that worked really really well given the market conditions at that time.
Then the crash happened and what worked in the beginning stopped working. You continued to use this method against a changing market and began losing.
You kept going on with this method, not deviating from it (or not much) and kept losing more and more money until as of now you're shot.
So, three things.
1. You have proven <I>that with the right method and market</I> you can make money.
2. You have proven that the method you employ no longer works at all, even in the mini bull we're enjoyed over the last few years.
3. You have attached so much self esteem and 'value of self' to trading results that each inevitable loss chipped a little more away from you and now each loss is crippling.
So, what to do?
1. Stop trading first and foremost. You KNOW your method no longer works. And you KNOW your head is all messed up. The market is not more efficient to the point that you (or anybody else) can't trade it. That's a cop out. Szeven here makes a TON of bread. Lots of others on ET make money. It's not the market. It's your method and your head.
2. You MUST find a cognitive behavior therapist. You have essentially (and not to minimize vets AT ALL) PTSD. You have attached importance to trade results which of course is incredibly easy to do when you're perpetually losing. And each loss piled on each loss has wiped out your coping abilities. Each trade is now considered dangerous to your well being and you can't pull the trigger any longer. An excellent CBT can see what you're suffering from. You are Trader Number 4 in this example:
http://traderfeed.blogspot.com/2007/10/four-problem-traders-four-trading.html
3. Trading for you is not an addiction. You didn't trade for the action; you traded as a career. Do you exhibit other addictive behaviors in other areas? Drinking? Casino gambling? Drugs? I'd bet not. But because you've been getting your ass kicked for so long, you have labeled it gambling as a way of coping with the painful results you've experienced. It's your way of letting yourself off the hook and to protect your psychology.
Attempting to wait out feeling better about this will not work. You are psychologically injured and time itself will not change a damn thing.
Now, I am in no way saying 'man up dude' because what has occurred with you has seared your psychology and would take a lot of effort on your part to both discover a new method that works for you and that works now AS WELL AS all the head work that's needed to get you back in a good place. You can never accomplish that totally on your own. You can't just 'sack the fu^* up' and get it done. You need help. But it IS out there. But you don't need a 'tell me about your childhood' therapist; you need a CBT that can help you overcome the events and the language you use internally that have led to the seemingly end of your trading career.
If you want to trade badly enough again, you'll figure out a way to do the work. If you don't, then you gave it a good run, made some great dough, put your kids through college, and have nothing to be sorry for.
Best of luck to you.