I made $7 million USD in 2008

Trading the ups and downs of the market is a meaningless existance if that is all you do, regardless of how much money you are making. The stress is really hard on the mind/body and while there are periods of feeling great when you are making alot. Most of the time you are off your highs, fighting to get back, during which time you are semi depressed. When all that matters is trading then the rest of life really comes unlivable. Nothing else can have much importance compared to whether or not the next 2 weeks is going to be a huge drawdown that will send you into the next stressfull depression like state. Eventually what will happen is that you will have a mega drawdown 25-75% and that really sucks regardless of have much money you still have. I have been through all this for the last 7 years.

You don't need any more money really. You have got to find some other stuff that will make life meaningful. Your body is probably a wreck. Even if you work out regularly, working out has to be secondary to your trading so i'm sure you can do much more. I would suggest taking 4-5 months off from trading. During this time i would work out 75-120 minutes a day. After 4 months of this you will have a top notch body. You will feel like you are 18 again. When you aren't trading, you will find that you have a compltely free day. Since trading is all you have done you will be really bored at first. Go out into the world and explore new activities. Fishing, tennis, boating, horse back riding, travel, reading, start a business, buy some rental properties. Go dating if not married. If you are married, you probably been ignoring your wife cuz all you do is trade. Spend some time with her/family kids. You will be so board with all the free time that your mind will become completely free of stress and you won't believe how good it feels after 4 months of not trading. And your mind will fall in love with new things besides trading.

You might discover some new interests for which the $$$ will mean something. Like maybe you fall in love with art collecting, or buying rental properties, ect. Or discover that you want to build your own dream estate. ECT ECT. Your life will have meaning and so will your trading. Then when you go back to trading you will at least be able to keep it in better perspective and hopefully happier while you are doing it. I know how all consuming trading can be and have lived that life for years. My best advice is to take some time off when you are at a good spot in your trading. Get your body/diet in order. Part of your mental state probably is because of a sedentary lifestyle most of the day. Sitting in front of 6 computer screens not normal at all. Good luck. And remember the $7 million is meaningless if you aren't in a good state of mind to enjoy it and that could eventually lead you to doing someting inadvertantly dumb which causes you to give the money back to the markets later.
 
Don't you mean $4.5 Million? You didn't forget your taxes, did you?

Gotta help Obama and your state and local govs keep you safe. And keep those markets working...
 
Quote from arealpissedgoy:

I have a large loss from top in November, but I've had large draw downs before. otherwise I would be up more for the year.

Although this time I was mentally unable to trade for a few days. paring down to minimal lost size has helped emotionally.

Although I've never been diagnosed as bipolar, I wonder if I am clinically depressed. I've made an appointment with a shrink next week, hopefully I can get out of this mental funk. Just being inside it is depressing.
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Take a couple hundred thousand and buy yourself a really fast boat --> Fountain, Baja. You won't believe the recuperative effects it'll have on your spirit. You are the man.
 
assuming your post is genuine...

the best advise, at this point, is to put aside the majority and do not trade with that $ at risk. if you think making it has left you feeling this way, TRUST ME, pissing it away will bring a level of pain and self loathing that you cannot now imagine.

i haven't made the $ you have, but i've made 7 figures managing mine and OPM. beat every mutual fund in the Lipper universe in my first 5 years with my own firm. got too confident and suffered a kind of disconnect between the #'s on the statements and 'real money' and raised my '$ i need to be successful/happy' to stupid levels. ignored my own writing (client quarterlies which still haunt me) on the market valuations and went for the kill in a couple of private placements. wiped out the majority of my net worth.

repeat performance on a smaller scale in my foray into trading. up 1800% in my first 10 months and got impatient (yes, a ridiculous reaction), pissed a bunch away, got back up 2300% after 16 months and got even more impatient/complacent- pissed away 70% of the account in 9 days in october and now i can't trade profitably to save my life.

point being: your frame of mind is a disaster waiting to happen. ergo, pull a bunch off the table so that, if you do lose your mental edge, the damage is mitigated beforehand.
 
Visit a poor country, or Camden NJ, go back home and feel grateful. But do not feel guilty for your success, enjoy it, and keep your friends and family close.
 
Become a mentor.

If you really made as much as you said you did, help me become a profitable trader.

You'll feel much better about yourself.
 
Quote from gangof4:

assuming your post is genuine...

the best advise, at this point, is to put aside the majority and do not trade with that $ at risk. if you think making it has left you feeling this way, TRUST ME, pissing it away will bring a level of pain and self loathing that you cannot now imagine.

i haven't made the $ you have, but i've made 7 figures managing mine and OPM. beat every mutual fund in the Lipper universe in my first 5 years with my own firm. got too confident and suffered a kind of disconnect between the #'s on the statements and 'real money' and raised my '$ i need to be successful/happy' to stupid levels. ignored my own writing (client quarterlies which still haunt me) on the market valuations and went for the kill in a couple of private placements. wiped out the majority of my net worth.

repeat performance on a smaller scale in my foray into trading. up 1800% in my first 10 months and got impatient (yes, a ridiculous reaction), pissed a bunch away, got back up 2300% after 16 months and got even more impatient/complacent- pissed away 70% of the account in 9 days in october and now i can't trade profitably to save my life.

point being: your frame of mind is a disaster waiting to happen. ergo, pull a bunch off the table so that, if you do lose your mental edge, the damage is mitigated beforehand.
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That sucks.Not heeding your own advice is a curse .I havent traded since early december.I didnt want to lose the money i made and got spooked by the potential of turning a profitable quarter into a disaster.
Personally,i remove profits from my acct as soon i have made a profit.I like my acct to show a flat balance.
I personally hate the grind of daytrading vs swing trading.

My one goal this year is to quit dt and only position trade.There is no mental reward from daytrading just emotional grind.
 
Quote from ByLoSellHi:

You now know the difference between material wealth and passion.

A lack of passion sucks, no?

I'm not rubbing it in, but rather, relating to the emptiness I happen to also be feeling lately.
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This year is a big one for me.

I met every professional goal I set out to attain in 2008. There is nothing left.

I have on more than one occasion self sabotaged my trading by fixing what wasn't broken, and I made excuses for not trading full time.

I am afraid of success. It has taken me ten years to admit this, and ARPG has just validated my fear.

After one climbs Everest, what then? Go back? Why?

My next goal is to be a chess IM. But until I get this mental issue of mine fixed, I will not win.

I know first hand that it is not the goal, it is the struggle. There should be a separate thread for this, as three of us have admitted to either emptiness post success, or fear of the emptiness if we get success.
 
Quote from gangof4:

assuming your post is genuine...

the best advise, at this point, is to put aside the majority and do not trade with that $ at risk. if you think making it has left you feeling this way, TRUST ME, pissing it away will bring a level of pain and self loathing that you cannot now imagine.

i haven't made the $ you have, but i've made 7 figures managing mine and OPM. beat every mutual fund in the Lipper universe in my first 5 years with my own firm. got too confident and suffered a kind of disconnect between the #'s on the statements and 'real money' and raised my '$ i need to be successful/happy' to stupid levels. ignored my own writing (client quarterlies which still haunt me) on the market valuations and went for the kill in a couple of private placements. wiped out the majority of my net worth.

repeat performance on a smaller scale in my foray into trading. up 1800% in my first 10 months and got impatient (yes, a ridiculous reaction), pissed a bunch away, got back up 2300% after 16 months and got even more impatient/complacent- pissed away 70% of the account in 9 days in october and now i can't trade profitably to save my life.

point being: your frame of mind is a disaster waiting to happen. ergo, pull a bunch off the table so that, if you do lose your mental edge, the damage is mitigated beforehand.
More...

If you made more than 1000% twice(without insane leverage), then you can do it again. That, now what, feeling is a bitch, bro.

I wish I could fix it.
 
The first thing I would do is not give advice because I have no idea what I am talking about since I am not a doctor.

Fortunately, from the post, imo he has taken the most important step, which is to recognize that something is wrong, and that he may not be able to overcome this on his own. If you have a loving family or family member, there is no better place to start, imo.

As far as the post being genuine, $7M sounds like a lot to people on ET, but if you work for a firm, you routinely see that. If he was trading firm money, he was probably on a salary and his take home was discretionary and capped, so the actual money he took home could be say $350,000 [salary plus 5% bonus, capped at $500k. This is extremely common.]

I could tell you stories that would probably help, but I actually think you should have an ET hiatus for a while. Good luck and may your health return to you.
 
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