I just can't seem to get it right. I have had a trading case of "I got it, I lost it" for the last 20 years. I have never been consistent, and yet I yearn to be able to trade in a manner that promotes good trading. I have followed Spydertrader since he started his stock journal, spent many hours listening to FuturesTrader71, and many months in a chat room with Anekdoten. Yet I still can't manage to make a buck! My psyche is too stuffed up, and it always gets in the way. Whenever I enter a trade, my thoughts are consumed by "where can I get out?" This is characterised by lots of losing days, with some small winning days. A typical response for me is to cease trading if the first trade is a winner. That response comes from fear - fear of being wrong. I know it, I have read all the psych trading books - Kiev, Steenbarger, Magee, Douglas - and yet changing behaviour is far more difficult than just being aware of the problem.
I am your typical trader that thinks about not losing, rather than winning. Here is a chart of my trades yesterday...
This morning was my worst case of discipline yet. Unstructured trades based on trying to earn back yesterdays losses. I came up with a hair brained scheme based on my perception of my faults: If I am always wanting to get out of a trade, and always trying to be right, then perhaps if I max out my winners by forcing myself to set a profit target of 10 points, and force myself to exit at 2 points, to cut my losses, then that will help me deal with exiting too quickly. Nice theory, but let me loose in an undisciplined way, and it all goes awry. It only took a couple of losers today to make me start chasing, since this method also gave me the flexibility to enter wherever I 'thought' price was going to go. My previous strategy was very strict and mechanical, so it went some way to protect me from myself, or at least my account. So todays chart represents the totality of everything I know is wrong, yet I still did it:
When I look at this chart, I cannot believe I can make such ridiculous mistakes such as trading without a plan after 20 years of searching for something that works for me. There are so many areas to have made some winning trades. Even those that I entered, but did not hold.
Once again I am searching for what works, even though I know that its me that needs to change, and not the chart. I think my primary problem can be stated: I do not feel I have any edge in the market. If I knew I had an edge, and by 'knowing' one is confident, then I would avoid trading hunches, and just trade my edge.
No edge = no confidence, no discipline, and no profits.
I am considering throwing the towel in, but I promised myself that I would devote this year to trading. If I can't make it this year, then I will call myself another ember in the trading pyre and go out and get a real job.
This journal is to help me implement some discipline in my trading, as well as a call for help from anyone that can shed some advice on my poor choices. I am mostly a trader of price, having had no success in indicators, and the simplicity of methods such as Anekdoten's AHG method and DBPhoenix' SLA seem more robust than indicators. I am not quite sure where to go from here, since I have many times done 'backtesting', both automated and manual, to try and find an 'edge'. I think to myself, 'haven't I done enough testing already?' The weekends sacrificed to looking in the wrong places has all but driven me crazy. Do I really need to go back there? Perhaps I do....
Pivots, S/R, Double Bottoms, Double Tops, Trend Lines, Trading the trend, Reversals, ACD method, Level 2 DOM, Volume Profile, stocks, futures, Pair trading stocks, automated, mechanical, manual, gut feel, options, strangles, straddles, calendars (ouch), Iron Condors (Nearly double ouch!). The list goes on. I think the problem is not what I see, but the way in which I am looking.
Up until yesterday I felt I was making progress - moving to live trading a fortnight ago, making some money last week (well just above BE). It doesn't matter how slow you go, as long as you are heading in the right direction right? So the idea of throwing this 'method' away, and starting again from scratch is pretty difficult to swallow. Just what is it I am not seeing when I look for an edge?
The 'method' that I presently have is simply trading the ABC's, or 123's as I see them. Giving myself about a 1.5R on the first scale, and then leaving the last position as a runner until it gets to around 3R. I know exiting based on profit targets is a poor choice, but it has kept my brain tethered and helped me to extend my winners.
My best trades have always been at that point where I have had so many losers, and lost so much self control that I really don't care anymore. Both in sim and live. I have given up trying and just see price without wanting to be right anymore. Not caring also helps me to hold the trade on longer, so I sometimes recoup much of what I lose. Yesterday was a good example. I know there is something in that, but getting that mindset to just zone into price without caring has not been possible without the prior losses and agony.
I think that is probably enough background, and I expect most of you have given up already, but if you haven't, thanks for taking the time to look.
I am your typical trader that thinks about not losing, rather than winning. Here is a chart of my trades yesterday...
This morning was my worst case of discipline yet. Unstructured trades based on trying to earn back yesterdays losses. I came up with a hair brained scheme based on my perception of my faults: If I am always wanting to get out of a trade, and always trying to be right, then perhaps if I max out my winners by forcing myself to set a profit target of 10 points, and force myself to exit at 2 points, to cut my losses, then that will help me deal with exiting too quickly. Nice theory, but let me loose in an undisciplined way, and it all goes awry. It only took a couple of losers today to make me start chasing, since this method also gave me the flexibility to enter wherever I 'thought' price was going to go. My previous strategy was very strict and mechanical, so it went some way to protect me from myself, or at least my account. So todays chart represents the totality of everything I know is wrong, yet I still did it:
When I look at this chart, I cannot believe I can make such ridiculous mistakes such as trading without a plan after 20 years of searching for something that works for me. There are so many areas to have made some winning trades. Even those that I entered, but did not hold.
Once again I am searching for what works, even though I know that its me that needs to change, and not the chart. I think my primary problem can be stated: I do not feel I have any edge in the market. If I knew I had an edge, and by 'knowing' one is confident, then I would avoid trading hunches, and just trade my edge.
No edge = no confidence, no discipline, and no profits.
I am considering throwing the towel in, but I promised myself that I would devote this year to trading. If I can't make it this year, then I will call myself another ember in the trading pyre and go out and get a real job.
This journal is to help me implement some discipline in my trading, as well as a call for help from anyone that can shed some advice on my poor choices. I am mostly a trader of price, having had no success in indicators, and the simplicity of methods such as Anekdoten's AHG method and DBPhoenix' SLA seem more robust than indicators. I am not quite sure where to go from here, since I have many times done 'backtesting', both automated and manual, to try and find an 'edge'. I think to myself, 'haven't I done enough testing already?' The weekends sacrificed to looking in the wrong places has all but driven me crazy. Do I really need to go back there? Perhaps I do....
Pivots, S/R, Double Bottoms, Double Tops, Trend Lines, Trading the trend, Reversals, ACD method, Level 2 DOM, Volume Profile, stocks, futures, Pair trading stocks, automated, mechanical, manual, gut feel, options, strangles, straddles, calendars (ouch), Iron Condors (Nearly double ouch!). The list goes on. I think the problem is not what I see, but the way in which I am looking.
Up until yesterday I felt I was making progress - moving to live trading a fortnight ago, making some money last week (well just above BE). It doesn't matter how slow you go, as long as you are heading in the right direction right? So the idea of throwing this 'method' away, and starting again from scratch is pretty difficult to swallow. Just what is it I am not seeing when I look for an edge?
The 'method' that I presently have is simply trading the ABC's, or 123's as I see them. Giving myself about a 1.5R on the first scale, and then leaving the last position as a runner until it gets to around 3R. I know exiting based on profit targets is a poor choice, but it has kept my brain tethered and helped me to extend my winners.
My best trades have always been at that point where I have had so many losers, and lost so much self control that I really don't care anymore. Both in sim and live. I have given up trying and just see price without wanting to be right anymore. Not caring also helps me to hold the trade on longer, so I sometimes recoup much of what I lose. Yesterday was a good example. I know there is something in that, but getting that mindset to just zone into price without caring has not been possible without the prior losses and agony.
I think that is probably enough background, and I expect most of you have given up already, but if you haven't, thanks for taking the time to look.
)