It's time for you to quit creating aliases on Elitetrader, log off, and seek the support of your local psychiatrist. Otherwise you'll remain a unique breed of loser, unable to accept your fate until you hit rock bottom.
A phenomenon of this site: they created their account in the current month. Combined with one or two other psychological tells, this will produce a 95% hit rate, identifying one single individual who's been pleading for psychological help here for years.