How to overcome the inability to accept small losses when wrong on trades?

Dear _eug_ , I hope you will soon become profitable and successful. sad you lose 10%, but you did it over time and has acquired good experience, plus you are able to observe yourself, to identify your problem, so more than half of the path to success you already master. Somebody suggested you hypnosis, which can be good.
Or maybe instead of giving away money to the market invest in some help, some psychology coach. most of them are offering free first consultation, so you can feel if someone will do for you.
In this free video, starting on 11min54sec, late Louise Hay is giving a very good exercise to overcome any blocks within us.
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I was shocked when started to write what was coming up and holding out of my good entries.
Another thing I did, very expensive, I was coaching myself to accept stop losses by planning how much I can lose a day and in one trade. And I was sitting weeks and just paying stop-losses. I was focusing not as much on the accuracy of the trade entry but in my emotional state when stop loss was hit, writing all in my journal. Within few weeks this attitude, of holding and persist, slowly but joyfully evaporated. Have the fun of yourself when observing what was in your had. Maybe instead of write put on voice recording at the beginning. Well, it helped me to learn the difference between my nature to never give up and accepting stop loss as inevitable part of success in trading.
For instance, you mention that you love risky sports, so probably your willpower helped you to win during this activity, and in your subconscious has been built a strong belief that you must hold on, persist, in order to win. This is obviously ruining when you entering the trade.
If you do not fix the issue with accepting small loses, no matter which market you are going to try, the resultant outcome will be the same. All the best! Hope to learn your good news soon!
 
CSEtrader said:
Another thing I did, very expensive, I was coaching myself to accept stop losses by planning how much I can lose a day and in one trade. And I was sitting weeks and just paying stop-losses. I was focusing not as much on the accuracy of the trade entry but in my emotional state when stop loss was hit, writing all in my journal. Within few weeks this attitude, of holding and persist, slowly but joyfully evaporated. Have the fun of yourself when observing what was in your had. Maybe instead of write put on voice recording at the beginning. Well, it helped me to learn the difference between my nature to never give up and accepting stop loss as inevitable part of success in trading.
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Fun. :)

I think what ultimately helped me was to turn it into a game that had nothing to do with whether I was making the right decision or not, which is something your ego gets wrapped up in, and simply make it about what I thought the right think to do at the time was, and to force myself to make repeated decisions about that. Then it stopped being about whether I was going out and doing something smart or not, and started being about "I have to own something ..." (even if it's $us) so it might as well be some things that I think will appreciate vs. other things. It's basically forcing myself to see the reality that $us, £uk, etc, IS a position.

Many people have a problem with over-trading, too much leverage, not accounting for risk, etc .. mine was a problem of indecision.

The other thing that helped me was to take "me" out of it whenever possible ..
 
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_eug_ said:
I have no problem with longer term investing. Its more of the shorter term stuff that I am not psychologically equipped to handle
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yep i had the same problem.
I had the same problem but i realised that the short term variety was much harder.

it took me ten years to succeed and a loss of huge money: i did not take the classical route but was trying to discover what it was, that made the markets move and what made them change direction.
i now am sure whatever i lost will be made up in within 6 months

i have very recently understood that vital aspect of markets, after joining ET:whether joining ET has anything to do with it i do not know.

so it is not easy to find this hidden treasure; it requires a lot of emotional and financial commitment and stamina

i now am glad i stuck to it but i have 2-3 times left during this ten years, swore never to trade again,but luckily had started again.

Needless to add that there was not one person among my family,relations or friends that encouraged me to continue:but i knew i would do it and i have.

hope this encourages you and a lot of aspiring traders: but have no disillusionment about the amount of time and effort needed
 
You can not wait long on this market after realizing a mistake as you have to get yourself out of the scene as soon as possible with minimum loss. Hedging is another option to minimize or nullify the losses but it requires good knowledge to use thia tool properly. Do you know about Forex hedge?
 
Sebastian11 said:
You can not wait long on this market after realizing a mistake as you have to get yourself out of the scene as soon as possible with minimum loss. Hedging is another option to minimize or nullify the losses but it requires good knowledge to use thia tool properly. Do you know about Forex hedge?
More...

I am trying to learn from the 4 Mark Douglas videos posted in another thread and he states it so amazingly simple. You enter a trade when you see your "edge setup" and prior to entering you understand that anything can happen after you enter. And, you decide what you are willing to pay to see if this trade will have a positive outcome. So you know prior to placing the trade what market action will convince you that your edge is no longer present.

If that happens you gladly take your loss and wait for the next setup. It is just a probabilities game if you have your proven edge.

https://www.elitetrader.com/et/threads/mark-douglas-how-to-think-like-a-professional-trader.319792/
 
I took a month and a half break from trading from mid April till early June but continued to follow and study the markets. I also had a bit of an existential crisis trying to figure out if its time to give up trading and move on to something else. This was a very though time I must admit. Started to smoke cigarettes. I worked though the issues and got back into trading in June.

I traded 4 stocks in June, 3 were losers which I was able to cut exactly where I planned to and one was a massive winner where I gained 30%. The trade management wasn't great on the winner because I left an additional 10% gain on the table by not closing on break of support but I still managed to make my biggest gain since starting to trade and it was on no leverage. I basically made back half of my losses from the last year and a half in 1 trade. This confirms for me that holding trades over night and trading with the trend is the way to go.

Something has changed in my mind now and the P&L has no effect on my emotions. Really strange feeling actually. I hope that I can continue this way.

There was also a mismanaged trade in the S&P in June which was profitable but I let it come back to the entry where I closed break even. I was expecting support to hold but it did not so I bailed.

Since the start of July I am sitting on a pretty good S&P long in a x2 leverage etf (not ready to trade ES until i prove myself) and will not let this come back against me.

Stopped day trading and trying to scalp rotations and things are looking good for now. Thanks everyone who participated in this thread.
 
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