How to convince wife to let me trade full time?
- Thread starter Hardo
- Start date
While I agree that losing the security of money from your job may affect your trading psychologically, you do have 2 years of living expenses saved which keeps you from trading scared money. This alone is a huge plus on your side.
Do you want to look back years from now asking what if ?
If you don't do it now, when will you ?
I say make a deal with your wife and when your current job ends, try it for 6 months to a year.
You are either going to sink or swim and will get the answer you need.
You can always get another job, but won't always have the opportunity to trade for a living as those kids grow older and tax your money even harder with college, etc.
In the end, our live's are determined by the risks we take.
Ask lescor if the risk was worth the reward.
Do you want to look back years from now asking what if ?
If you don't do it now, when will you ?
I say make a deal with your wife and when your current job ends, try it for 6 months to a year.
You are either going to sink or swim and will get the answer you need.
You can always get another job, but won't always have the opportunity to trade for a living as those kids grow older and tax your money even harder with college, etc.
In the end, our live's are determined by the risks we take.
Ask lescor if the risk was worth the reward.
Quote from lescor:
Some background: I have been trading full time for 8 years. Prior to that I was a firefighter and had a strong interest in the markets for several years. I didn't know what I was doing but the market's siren song kept me coming back. I basically lost all my disposable income for about a 7 year period as I kept funding accounts that would end up at zero. Eventually I just got pissed off enough that I decided I had to buckle down and figure this game out or enter a 12 step rehab program
I started reading Gary B. Smith when he wrote for thestreet.com and his approach just seemed to click with me. He used very very basic TA to swing trade stocks and stressed things like position sizing, money management, expectancy, etc. It was like a light bulb went off because now I could see how trading could be boiled down to just pure numbers, and I really liked numbers and math. Prior to that I just followed hot tips, rumors and newsletter recommendations. But this new approach suddenly made sense of it all. I read every article he ever wrote and every book he recommended and took notes to reinforce it all. I cobbled together an actual trading plan, taught myself MS Excel to track it and crunch numbers and in a whole year of trading, I didn't lose any money! I didn't make anything, but I had a whole bunch of stats to review and a new understanding of how this game is played.
It was in my blood pretty deep then and I knew I had to make a go of it full time. So I quite my job with $40,000 to trade with and a year of living expenses set aside. I left my wife and kids behind and drove across the country to trade for 3 months in a prop office to try to speed up the learning curve. It took me about 4 months to stop losing money until I found something that clicked and it's worked out pretty good since.
As for how I trade, first of all I only trade stocks. I will dabble in futures and options, but they are just pot shot trades. I don't have an edge there so I never bet big. Almost all of what I do is mean reversion based. I have about half a dozen separate strategies, but two of them account for most of my profits. Most of them use some degree of automation.
The basis of all my trading is still shaped by those principals I learned almost 10 years ago. I stress capital preservation above all else and try to boil everything down to numbers and odds. It took a long time, but constantly focusing on that approach has made trading a fairly emotionless endeavor at this point.
Not everyone can just get up and leave their wife, and kids like Lescor did. If his wife doesn't fully support him, I wouldn't do it, because when he has days..weeks..or even months where he has losses, his wife's just going to give him crap. If she's not working, the full load is on him to provide. Maybe find a job with more flexible hrs, that will allow you to trade more, and you'll still have a 2nd income.
Women love to be right..I've learned this many times over a year, and a half ago when I got engaged, so try and compromise with her. Throw her a bone too, so she has an incentive to say yes.
Women love to be right..I've learned this many times over a year, and a half ago when I got engaged, so try and compromise with her. Throw her a bone too, so she has an incentive to say yes.
I have contemplated including this but after reading posts about taking risks and such I feel I need to add this.
When I started trading or I should say investing as that's what I did back then. I was in the camp of investing for the long term buy and hold strategy. I bought the Vanguard ETF/Funds that had low operating costs and kept me very diversified. I thought this is what everyone does, but I figured out it must not be because I wasn't making any money. I made the mistake of screwing around with penny stocks for awhile, lost some money, realized that wasn't the way to go. So I then immersed myself into educating myself on trading. I read everthing I could, followed different sites, back tested, paper traded, and really lived and died trading to learn all I could.
When I decided I was ready I did probably the stupidest thing a trader could do but I felt I was ready and had to take my shot. I used 0% balance transfer credit cards to give myself $30,000 cash to start trading with. Extremely stupid and I won't recommend it to anyone, because I did have many sleepless nights worried if I would be able to pay it back. But I was confident in my skills and I ended up paying it back before the juice started running and made enough on top of that to keep day trading to get to the point where I am at today.
So I have already taken a big risk and succeeded to now get myself to the point where I am contemplating going full time.
When I started trading or I should say investing as that's what I did back then. I was in the camp of investing for the long term buy and hold strategy. I bought the Vanguard ETF/Funds that had low operating costs and kept me very diversified. I thought this is what everyone does, but I figured out it must not be because I wasn't making any money. I made the mistake of screwing around with penny stocks for awhile, lost some money, realized that wasn't the way to go. So I then immersed myself into educating myself on trading. I read everthing I could, followed different sites, back tested, paper traded, and really lived and died trading to learn all I could.
When I decided I was ready I did probably the stupidest thing a trader could do but I felt I was ready and had to take my shot. I used 0% balance transfer credit cards to give myself $30,000 cash to start trading with. Extremely stupid and I won't recommend it to anyone, because I did have many sleepless nights worried if I would be able to pay it back. But I was confident in my skills and I ended up paying it back before the juice started running and made enough on top of that to keep day trading to get to the point where I am at today.
So I have already taken a big risk and succeeded to now get myself to the point where I am contemplating going full time.
It could have been luck ... and your luck might be ready to run out.
Can you make money in this environment? What is your Sharpe over the last 3 years and what is your return on margin as well?
Maybe your strategy is okay and you can make you 20 - 30 K a year part-time but if you try to scale it up you might blow up.
Trading is a million times more stressful when you are using your own money and don't have a second income every month.
Good luck whatever you decide.
Can you make money in this environment? What is your Sharpe over the last 3 years and what is your return on margin as well?
Maybe your strategy is okay and you can make you 20 - 30 K a year part-time but if you try to scale it up you might blow up.
Trading is a million times more stressful when you are using your own money and don't have a second income every month.
Good luck whatever you decide.
Listen carefully
Maybe you can't forward test your system once you scale up/start full time, but anybody suggesting you should choose between trading and your family has a screw loose. Noone knows the real reasons anybody stays or leaves a wife, so don't compare. The only reason you should leave her to trade is if you would leave her anyway.
Kon said "throw her a bone". Yup, for most women that'll work. Tell her the benefits, what's in it for her, and ADDRESS HER FEARS. Tell her you've got a backup plan, etc. Most women are worriers. Some can deal with it, some can't. Those that can't, need reassurance, so provide it.
Maybe you can't forward test your system once you scale up/start full time, but anybody suggesting you should choose between trading and your family has a screw loose. Noone knows the real reasons anybody stays or leaves a wife, so don't compare. The only reason you should leave her to trade is if you would leave her anyway.
Kon said "throw her a bone". Yup, for most women that'll work. Tell her the benefits, what's in it for her, and ADDRESS HER FEARS. Tell her you've got a backup plan, etc. Most women are worriers. Some can deal with it, some can't. Those that can't, need reassurance, so provide it.
If the human race consisted entirely of people who respond like you, 99.5% of people would be in bankruptcy court, and living in boxes under a bridge...
To the OP
Did your wife know about this ?
Did it cause any fights ?
Did she dislike being wrong after you suceeded with it ?
Not sure what strategies you trade but
Have you tried scaling up your size on your part time trading to increase the return while holding down your current job ?
Did your wife know about this ?
Did it cause any fights ?
Did she dislike being wrong after you suceeded with it ?
Not sure what strategies you trade but
Have you tried scaling up your size on your part time trading to increase the return while holding down your current job ?
I never said he should get up and leave his wife and kids.
He already has been profitable for 3 years so he has no need to go to a prop shop to find a mentor. My point was if you believe in yourself, you will never know the outcome unless you take the risk. That is wha profitable trading is all about. 100 % belief and confidence in yourself even after a losing trade.
How about he stay at home and trade and be there with the kids while his wife goes and gets a stable job.