Your a 40 year old loser living in your Mom's basement.
You have a 500 dollar penny stock day trading acct.
All the families in your town know exactly where you live, it is listed in the registry of perverts on the Internet.
The closest you ever got to Central America is on one of your many trips to the Tia Juana donkey show.
When you talk you use quaddruple negatives in a single sentence.
When the last Star Wars movie came out you camped out overnight at the Cinema front door to be first in line.
You still haven't gotten laid, the last time you talked to a female you had to use a credit card
The chair in front of your computer where your sit naked has a strong smell of ass.
When you go #2 you don't wipe well, this explains the bacon strips in the underwear. Underwear that looks like it was laying on the runway of Ohare Airport.
You know all the Bookies faces because they have roughed you up so many times.
You go on the Internet trying to be a big shot, when your mom is out of the house.
...Rennick out