How do you deal with being wealthy or suddenly having lots of money?

[u21c3f6]

Quote from Ghost of Cutten:

False. You cannot conspicuously consume in front of poorer friends and expect them none of them to think you're a bit of an asshole. But you can definitely have friends who are far richer or poorer than you.

What is "conspicuously consume"? It is not a secret that my wife and I take a vacation at least twice a year or have the ability to dine out more often at other than fast food restaurants. That is hard to hide unless you lie and it might not even work then.

Unfortunately, conversations with someone that does not have the same finances becomes very difficult. I would like to talk about my travel experiences or new restaurants or dishes I have tried but to do so risks getting the response quoted above. So I have to muzzle myself to prevent from looking like "an asshole" or rubbing salt in a wound.

The harder part for me is to listen to people talk about how everything is unfair and what was "done" to them and again I have to muzzle myself because most of them have created their situation from choices they made but to tell them that or even try to help them recognize that so they can do better again risks the response given above.

Joe.

 

[coolweb]

once you have wealth you got to deal with the $$$$ aka manage it
start from small to big
manage $500 till you can manage it correctly
then manage your millions.

------
the other stuff like how to use money
an ape can use and consume money
do you need directions to use money?

 

[Speciaul_K]

Quote from u21c3f6:

What is "conspicuously consume"? It is not a secret that my wife and I take a vacation at least twice a year or have the ability to dine out more often at other than fast food restaurants. That is hard to hide unless you lie and it might not even work then.

Unfortunately, conversations with someone that does not have the same finances becomes very difficult. I would like to talk about my travel experiences or new restaurants or dishes I have tried but to do so risks getting the response quoted above. So I have to muzzle myself to prevent from looking like "an asshole" or rubbing salt in a wound.

The harder part for me is to listen to people talk about how everything is unfair and what was "done" to them and again I have to muzzle myself because most of them have created their situation from choices they made but to tell them that or even try to help them recognize that so they can do better again risks the response given above.

Joe.

Exactly!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[retaildaytrader]

Taking vacations, going out to dinner and even owning nice cars does not mean you are wealthy.

Personally, all I eat is what I make at home and that is not because I can't afford to go out to dinner. Food at restaurants tends to be fatty, salty, and not very healthy in general. My health is more important then trying out new dishes. I like to be able to run 2-3 miles without stopping therefore eating out at a restaurant is off my list (and so is drinking large amounts of beer/liquor).

I have been to quite a few parts of the world and I see people who do not appear very wealthy all the time. Actually, traveling overseas can be cheaper then traveling domestically.

If there is one thing you learn about "things" is that the "things" oftentimes own you rather then you owning the "things". Therefore, its best not to buy junk. For example, Betamax. At one time during the 80s, Betamax was very expensive and having one was the in thing...fast forward and.... Another example is Porsche and BMW...people with Porsche's soon learn their vehicle is kept at the shop more then it is driven...the BMW starts falling apart and looking old when the odometer gets past 30k. All that high priced stuff of affluency is actually high priced JUNK that does not last.

Quote from u21c3f6:

What is "conspicuously consume"? It is not a secret that my wife and I take a vacation at least twice a year or have the ability to dine out more often at other than fast food restaurants. That is hard to hide unless you lie and it might not even work then.

Unfortunately, conversations with someone that does not have the same finances becomes very difficult. I would like to talk about my travel experiences or new restaurants or dishes I have tried but to do so risks getting the response quoted above. So I have to muzzle myself to prevent from looking like "an asshole" or rubbing salt in a wound.

The harder part for me is to listen to people talk about how everything is unfair and what was "done" to them and again I have to muzzle myself because most of them have created their situation from choices they made but to tell them that or even try to help them recognize that so they can do better again risks the response given above.

Joe.

 

[u21c3f6]

Quote from retaildaytrader:

Taking vacations, going out to dinner and even owning nice cars does not mean you are wealthy.

With all due respect, I think you missed the context of my reply.

Joe.

 

[Speciaul_K]

Quote from retaildaytrader:

Taking vacations, going out to dinner and even owning nice cars does not mean you are wealthy.

Personally, all I eat is what I make at home and that is not because I can't afford to go out to dinner. Food at restaurants tends to be fatty, salty, and not very healthy in general. My health is more important then trying out new dishes. I like to be able to run 2-3 miles without stopping therefore eating out at a restaurant is off my list (and so is drinking large amounts of beer/liquor).

I have been to quite a few parts of the world and I see people who do not appear very wealthy all the time. Actually, traveling overseas can be cheaper then traveling domestically.

If there is one thing you learn about "things" is that the "things" oftentimes own you rather then you owning the "things". Therefore, its best not to buy junk. For example, Betamax. At one time during the 80s, Betamax was very expensive and having one was the in thing...fast forward and.... Another example is Porsche and BMW...people with Porsche's soon learn their vehicle is kept at the shop more then it is driven...the BMW starts falling apart and looking old when the odometer gets past 30k. All that high priced stuff of affluency is actually high priced JUNK that does not last.

Trying telling someone who is poor or makes 50k a year that a bmw and porsche's are junk. They will look at you like your a snob
This is what I mean when you make 50k a year you cannot afford such things (junk). Im not disagreeing with you that they are junk after a few years but you can afford to call them junk. 90% of americans cannot.

 

[Speciaul_K]

Quote from u21c3f6:

With all due respect, I think you missed the context of my reply.

Joe.

I don't think anyone is trying to say they are wealthy but I got your point Joe.

 

[377OHMS]

Well, a friend of my family is associated with great wealth and has an income from a trust fund. He joins us on ski vacations. Basically he goes from ski vacation to ski vacation and then flys heavy gliders in the spring and summer. At one time he held a heavy glider distance record.

I admire the guy for his self-control. He enjoys good restaraunts but drives a 10-year old car. He has a house in the Palisades but it is the original 70s tract home that was built there. The guy stays out of trouble, doesn't become addicted to things and has a great time.

We've taken him with us on helicopter ski trips to hardcore places in the Selkirks and Monashees where you can die 12 different ways before lunch and he doesn't flinch or seem to try particularly hard to preserve his life lol.

It astonishes me how normal he remains.

 

[Cheese]

How do you deal with being wealthy or suddenly having lots of money?
Same way as you deal with being poor or suddenly having very little money. You choose your state of mind, rich or not. So being positive has always worked for me.

Little or no money has benefits. You are free. No one can get you for money because you have little of it. You walk lightly and easily because you're not bowed down by the false gods of material display.

Plenty of money has the benefit of confirming to yourself how good you are. You don't need an audience to get that feeling. But also its a challenging game of addition and multiplication. You keep playing because you like to increase the numbers. It remains constantly competitive.

 

[ChkitOut]

Quote from 377OHMS:

Well, a friend of my family is associated with great wealth and has an income from a trust fund. He joins us on ski vacations. Basically he goes from ski vacation to ski vacation and then flys heavy gliders in the spring and summer. At one time he held a heavy glider distance record.

I admire the guy for his self-control. He enjoys good restaraunts but drives a 10-year old car. He has a house in the Palisades but it is the original 70s tract home that was built there. The guy stays out of trouble, doesn't become addicted to things and has a great time.

We've taken him with us on helicopter ski trips to hardcore places in the Selkirks and Monashees where you can die 12 different ways before lunch and he doesn't flinch or seem to try particularly hard to preserve his life lol.

It astonishes me how normal he remains.

Thanks for sharing. Good story. I new a girl who's parents were multi millionaires but you would never know it. Nicest most humble girl. Breath of fresh air.