How do u deal w/ emotions from outside trading, like girls(friends)?

[EPrado]

Just to get back this thread into focus... this is NOT a thread about marriage counselling..... (@"SmallStops"...)

(i.e. why relationships will or will not work)...
nor about how trading affects relationships...

but rather how relationships (short or longer term ones) and their emotional impacts AFFECT the trading and how to deal with that... with personal examples.

(that said, well done Eprado, the stop loss habit is great behaviour ones learn from trading, applicable in all areas of life.)

Thanks. Like in trading, in real life you have to know when a situation is a "bad" position and get out of it. Whether it's bad marriage, bad girlfriend, bad habit......at some point you have to say enough is enough and cut your loss.

 

[smallStops]

Man I feel like I am being grilled in an interrogation room . Funny.

1) Yes. Her mother was ridiculous as well. Friends warned me that she could turn out like her mother. But when we were dating she did not have a good relationship with her mom. She always claimed her mom was such a bitch. Then...soon after we got married she patched things up with her mom, and coincidentally she became just like her mother. So yes, it definitely could have been possible to maybe for see it coming. I was 25 though at the time. Young and dumb.

2) She was fine with the divorce. At that point we knew it was over and could not stand each other. If she had agreed to my first settlement should would have been much better off. She wanted a lot more, so I fought her in court for a year. She got much less than the original settlement. No, there was no other guy waiting. She soon moved to another part of the country.

3) She found out when I told her trading has been tough, so no excessive spending. Even during the draw down we were fine financially. I was very open with her how things at work were going. She couldn't handle not being able to spend money without thinking, which at times I let her get away with when trading was going great.

I was so eagger to find out about what factors are important to look at BEFORE "signing", that
I just asked, without considering how it comes across.
Anyway, what you are saying is very insightful and expected :
* the influence of parents and if/how likely the person will develop their same bad traits
* the attitude toward the person if money is no longer flowing like a river

I remember one guy who basically paid before any marriage a huge amount to his gf - because of all the negatives his friends were mentionning. As soon as all was signed and she was sure she was set for life, she basically disappeared. The psy advice was in a way a blessing. But still, any other way to find out the truth about how the women will turn out
if money stops flowing like a river or if disaster strikes ( illness, accidents, ..)?

 

[smallStops]

Thanks. Like in trading, in real life you have to know when a situation is a "bad" position and get out of it. Whether it's bad marriage, bad girlfriend, bad habit......at some point you have to say enough is enough and cut your loss.

This is in a bit similar in many parts of life : some do not want to cut their losses in whatever they do , and thus have to be forced to.

 

[lemarche]

Lemarche: may I disagree with your views.
I do believe that it is important to explore as many aspects of a subject when talking psychology for traders.
here for instance, the financial aspects were important in the demise and stress brought.
This is something important for traders to understand how gf/wife "attitude" to money can have an impact. The other questions are obviously related.
Thank you for having a broader view of the issues.

Yes, you may.

However, since I started this thread, I may also ask you to start another thread on any other slightly related topics that may be of interest to you.

You are welcome to do that.

Rgds.

(that being said, my general advice is to flee like hell (for LTRs, that is ) women who are "under" you financially AND expect you to fund their lifestyle, cos they can t fund it themselves... seems rather obvious, but...)

 

[Pepen_supendi]

(that being said, my general advice is to flee like hell (for LTRs, that is ) women who are "under" you financially AND expect you to fund their lifestyle, cos they can t fund it themselves... seems rather obvious, but...)

Lol
But I'd rather avoid this since I'm not that ready to things like this...