Lol
But it's lot more better to distract yourself from any of these problems. Personally, it's more painful than got a needle through your skin...
How do u deal w/ emotions from outside trading, like girls(friends)?
- Thread starter lemarche
- Start date
Lol
But it's lot more better to distract yourself from any of these problems. Personally, it's more painful than got a needle through your skin...
That is more difficult to find and far more valuable than money.
Delighted for you.
Funny you mention drama and prioritizing. After my divorce last year, I slaved away in front of my terminal, gathered old trading ideas, and added structure to them. Traded on and off for years while married, but now finally fine tuned my edge/approach to confidently trade day after day.
Rallymode
What part of the city you live around? I like your philosophy. Maybe we can converse over coffee one of these days. Take care
profitlocker :
As I am really deep into psy stuff, would you mind answering these questions - I am all about
learning from other's experience.
* what information would you have liked to have regarding your ex BEFORE you got married?
* why this information, now in hindsight, is important?
* for what reasons at the time , I assume during your engagement phase, you did not think nor ask about this critical (?) information
Thank you very much in advance
smallStops
As I am really deep into psy stuff, would you mind answering these questions - I am all about
learning from other's experience.
* what information would you have liked to have regarding your ex BEFORE you got married?
* why this information, now in hindsight, is important?
* for what reasons at the time , I assume during your engagement phase, you did not think nor ask about this critical (?) information
Thank you very much in advance
smallStops
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smallStops
The ex-wife was young (19 yo) and motivated when I married her. She lost her mind later about 10 years later. Not sure I could have done anything differently. Just the type of ungrateful woman who always viewed the glass 1/2 empty instead of 1/2 full. Plenty of them out there
The ex-wife was young (19 yo) and motivated when I married her. She lost her mind later about 10 years later. Not sure I could have done anything differently. Just the type of ungrateful woman who always viewed the glass 1/2 empty instead of 1/2 full. Plenty of them out there
A lot of them do lose their mind. I married my college girlfriend. She loved it when things were good. But get this....I actually went through a draw down during the months after we got married. Can you believe that??? A trader going through a draw down. Who knew? She then proceeded to lose her mind. At the time I was trading for a big prop firm where there was no salary/draw. This was in the mid 90's. Most of them were set up that way. You basically "ate what you killed". Anyways she became very ungrateful and viewed the glass half empty instead of half full. Exactly what you went through. It got ridiculous to the point where I told the secretary at our firm not not put her calls through unless it was an emergency. Her idea of an emergency was when I told her she couldn't go down to Michigan Ave in Chicago and spend 1500 bucks on some outfit she would wear once and then it would go into the "closet of clothes to be never worn again." I basically set a stop in the market of her "ridiculous behavior"......she blasted right through that stop soon enough. I got divorced. Funny how the month after my divorce was finalized I had my best trading month ever. It sucked though, I was 27 yrs old living in Chicago. I couldn't find any thing fun to do or get into trouble.
Thank you both for sharing your life experiences, telling it as it was.
We are better off learning as much as possible, so as to make good life choices.
* May I ask profitlocker :
- she was motivated by what? existing financial situation, promising financial situation ?
- as she was very young (19 years old) : what age were you then?
Also, did she hinted at anytime, 10 years later that the age factor was an issue?
- now you say she became ungrateful : did you have any financial "difficulties" and this brought out the "ungratefulness"?
May I ask: had you gone totally broke, would sha have left?
* Eprado, I do also have few questions to yourself as well
- Is there anyway, you could have found out BEFORE getting married that she would develop
"ridiculous behavior"?
- It is rare for the guy to ask for a divorce: how did she reacted? did she had a good settlement? and most importantly, did she had another guy ( even former lover or hopeful) in the wing so to speak?
- During your drawdown, how did she find out about the "difficult" possible financial situation?
Many thanks again for your insights.
smallStops
We are better off learning as much as possible, so as to make good life choices.
* May I ask profitlocker :
- she was motivated by what? existing financial situation, promising financial situation ?
- as she was very young (19 years old) : what age were you then?
Also, did she hinted at anytime, 10 years later that the age factor was an issue?
- now you say she became ungrateful : did you have any financial "difficulties" and this brought out the "ungratefulness"?
May I ask: had you gone totally broke, would sha have left?
* Eprado, I do also have few questions to yourself as well
- Is there anyway, you could have found out BEFORE getting married that she would develop
"ridiculous behavior"?
- It is rare for the guy to ask for a divorce: how did she reacted? did she had a good settlement? and most importantly, did she had another guy ( even former lover or hopeful) in the wing so to speak?
- During your drawdown, how did she find out about the "difficult" possible financial situation?
Many thanks again for your insights.
smallStops
Just to get back this thread into focus... this is NOT a thread about marriage counselling..... (@"SmallStops"...)
(i.e. why relationships will or will not work)...
nor about how trading affects relationships...
but rather how relationships (short or longer term ones) and their emotional impacts AFFECT the trading and how to deal with that... with personal examples.
(that said, well done Eprado, the stop loss habit is great behaviour ones learn from trading, applicable in all areas of life.)
(i.e. why relationships will or will not work)...
nor about how trading affects relationships...
but rather how relationships (short or longer term ones) and their emotional impacts AFFECT the trading and how to deal with that... with personal examples.
(that said, well done Eprado, the stop loss habit is great behaviour ones learn from trading, applicable in all areas of life.)
Lemarche: may I disagree with your views.
I do believe that it is important to explore as many aspects of a subject when talking psychology for traders.
here for instance, the financial aspects were important in the demise and stress brought.
This is something important for traders to understand how gf/wife "attitude" to money can have an impact. The other questions are obviously related.
Thank you for having a broader view of the issues.
I do believe that it is important to explore as many aspects of a subject when talking psychology for traders.
here for instance, the financial aspects were important in the demise and stress brought.
This is something important for traders to understand how gf/wife "attitude" to money can have an impact. The other questions are obviously related.
Thank you for having a broader view of the issues.
Man I feel like I am being grilled in an interrogation room . Funny.
1) Yes. Her mother was ridiculous as well. Friends warned me that she could turn out like her mother. But when we were dating she did not have a good relationship with her mom. She always claimed her mom was such a bitch. Then...soon after we got married she patched things up with her mom, and coincidentally she became just like her mother. So yes, it definitely could have been possible to maybe for see it coming. I was 25 though at the time. Young and dumb.
2) She was fine with the divorce. At that point we knew it was over and could not stand each other. If she had agreed to my first settlement should would have been much better off. She wanted a lot more, so I fought her in court for a year. She got much less than the original settlement. No, there was no other guy waiting. She soon moved to another part of the country.
3) She found out when I told her trading has been tough, so no excessive spending. Even during the draw down we were fine financially. I was very open with her how things at work were going. She couldn't handle not being able to spend money without thinking, which at times I let her get away with when trading was going great.