Actually, this kind of day is very important to me.
I started this journal with a litteral event with my Dr.
The key quote here was:
"I'd had a brain injury a few years back. This year I was distinctly proud of being clear enough to tell her that 'how my brain was doing' was a question I really couldn't answer, I didn't know. In the past I'd say "oh, I'm almost well", and I wasn't."
A very real reason for me to be here is to become more self aware. It's a kind of judgement I need to...
well... I still have a written goal of aging gracefully. Choose that one some time ago. It's a little more complicated now than it used to be! But to find some gracefullness in moving thru the day. That takes self awareness and judgement.
I have really good days. And not so good.
Working here I'm becoming much more alert to which is which!
With a brain injury, it's possible not to know that.
I'm learning, making connections, I had a clue what this day was when I started. So this is a good day for me. And so far it's costing me much less than the medical comunity has charged me!
One possibility is to find better, safer, ways to trade on down days. That's the compensation thing. Or there may be more days I just need to sit out or sim trade. The stream of candelsticks will jsut keep coming when the day is good.
I have this mental image of waking up and placing one trade [unless I'm totally no-way]... and letting the market... be in a dialog with how I am. If I'm sharp run with that, if not... OK... I'll work my day that way.
Kind of makes sense! [it's not so much that I win, as that I'm able to keep up with my trading rules... that kind of thing.]
Thanks for your patience as I work my way thru here!
