Quote from brownegg:
1. If you have a mouse in your hand, you are TOO SLOW. Learn to deal with it, it's not changing.
2. NO exchange will allow for participants to aggress / take liquidity ahead of another order that does so first.
3. NO exchange will allow ANY participant to "pull their order" when a matching one is presented. Nor can the resting order choose to only execute some and delete/pull the rest.
If you don't believe, go to the exchange websites and download the rule books. These are publicly traded, heavily regulated and seriously scrutinized companies we're talking about, not a card game in Chinatown. Much like Las Vegas, legit businesses don't have to cheat or bend the rules: doing things above the table is lucrative enough that it's not worth risking.
Look, what you described is frustrating. It happens to everyone, including me. But that doesn't mean there's anything wrong with the system or the rules as they exist. By the time that order can be seen on a screen and "clicked", probably 500ms has gone by. And that's if your delivery is good and you're ridiculously fast with your mouse. Likely it's far longer than that. In a world where 200 orders / second is possible with $2k/mo of leased software, why would you even expect you could get filled in the first place?
I'm not saying there's not shady elements of the markets--but there are shady elements in shipping, utilities, construction, real estate, government, education, and everything else you can think of.
I've watched 99% of the guys who used to make $200-300k a year on the floor take jobs as salesmen, mortgage brokers, financial planners, etc., because once they weren't handed vig on a silver platter they became extinct. Sorry to be harsh, but the same is mostly true for the solo daytrader, and it will only get worse. That's how capitalism works.
Adapt or perish. I did it, and others did it. Decide if you're going to do it. Just don't whine about it or blame anyone other than yourself.