Hedge Fund Book

Quote from TimothySykes:

I was the #1 ranked short bias fund 2003-2006, even with my 2006 losses.
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Picture this scenario...

Timmy is trying to lure some poor bastard into investing in his retail account...oops, I mean "hedge fund".

Timmy to investor-- "From 1999-2001 I turned my bar mitzvah money into an audited sum of blah, blah, blah...

Investor-- "That's impressive, great job. What have you done since then?"

Timmy -- "Well, I was the #1 short biased fund from 2003-2006"

Investor-- "Wow, that's outstanding!!! What was your annual return?"

Timmy-- "Ummm, well, I'm not supposed to talk about it due to my ummm, lawyers."

Investor-- "Well, you certainly don't expect me to write a check unless you tell me your results"

Timmy-- "Uh, Ummm, O.K...I returned 1.5% annually from 2003-2006.....but did I mention that I was the #1 ranked short biased fund?"

Investor-- "1.5% annually over 4 years!!!! That's awful. I could have done multiples of that in my savings account....at zero risk!!!"

Timmy-- "But I was the #1 ranked..."

Investor (abruptly and angrily interrupting)-- "Stop wasting my time kid....beat it"

Timmy (sobbing)-- "Wanna buy a book?"
 
Quote from WoodyAllen:

You should tell your investors to move over to a basic money market fund for better return with less risk!!!

It is unethical for you to B.S. your money management, and NEVER describe your "risk management" method!!!
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Quote from Longhorns:

Picture this scenario...

Timmy is trying to lure more poor bastards into investing in his retail account...oops, I mean "hedge fund".

Timmy to investor-- "From 1999-2001 I turned my bar mitzvah money into an audited sum of blah, blah, blah...

Investor-- "That's impressive, great job. What have you done since then?"

Timmy -- "Well, I was the #1 short biased fund from 2003-2006"

Investor-- "Wow, that's outstanding!!! What was your annual return?"

Timmy-- "Ummm, well, I'm not supposed to talk about it due to my ummm, lawyers."

Investor-- "Well, you certainly don't expect me to write a check unless you tell me your results"

Timmy-- "Uh, Ummm, O.K...I returned 1.5% annually from 2003-2006.....but did I mention that I was the #1 ranked short biased fund?"

Investor-- "1.5% annually over 4 years!!!! That's awful. I could have done multiples of that in my savings account....at zero risk!!!"

Timmy-- "But I was the #1 ranked..."

Investor (abruptly and angrily interrupting)-- "Stop wasting my time kid....beat it"

Timmy (sobbing)-- "Wanna buy a book?"
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LOL Even though you're a complete moron, you still have a good sense of humor. Maybe you still have a chance at being somebody some day.
 
Quote from TimothySykes:

Can you guess where I'm going to detail my risk management?
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Judging by your results, I 'd say you're still "working out the details". :D
 
Quote from TimothySykes:

LOL Even though you're a complete moron, you still have a good sense of humor. Maybe you still have a chance at being somebody some day.
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Timmay!

I'm a big fan, and one day, I'm gonna be somebody! Where can I get the t-shirt? any chance of a free one if I buy a book?
 
Quote from TimothySykes:

Can you guess where I'm going to detail my risk management? C'mon I'll give you 3 guesses, but after that you're on your own
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Timmay likely will say:

"uh... got no risk management thats why my investors hate me and why they leave my Fund ...its all in my upcoming book...learn from my incompetence....please buy my book because I will never be successful on wall street, and will never earn an honest living as a Fund manager..."

"Learn from my incompetence...."
 
Quote from 11Blade:

Timmay!

I'm a big fan, and one day, I'm gonna be somebody! Where can I get the t-shirt? any chance of a free one if I buy a book?
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Thanx--I'm actually in the process of upgrading my website so def. stick around...it's gonna be an interesting few years as I aim to take trading and hedge funds to the masses!
 
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