Quote from illiquid:
I agree it's all mostly pain caused in retrospect, I'm not trying to make perfect trades but just trying to figure out why my exits are so poor in comparison with my entries. I think I figured out something just writing one of my replies earlier so at least it's starting to make sense to me why I'm in this situation.
Yes, I too think more clearly when I see my own responses to threads.
As for the second part, I know system traders play the percentages, and are free from torturing themselves within their setups that they have already fully accepted without attachment to individual results, but I started with that approach
Yes, I also agree that it is much easier for system traders to be more at peace with themselves on this than discretionary traders...
and now I'm on the opposite end of the spectrum and probably won't ever be able to think of the movement in between entry and exit as "random noise" (I know you don't mean it literally, but I always feel exactly the opposite about every discretionary trade I make).
Well, I do mean it, but perhaps I am not being clear. What I mean is something akin to a Feynman Path Integral. That is, once you enter a trade, you cannot tell what path the price of what you are trading will take. For example, it may hit your stop first and then go to your profit target (unlucky,) or, it may go straight to your profit target like a bullet, or anywhere in between. The point is, while what you consider to be a good entry may have an edge (a pocket of predictability,) how the market gets to where you want to go is completely up to it and you have to resign yourself to the actual path and the time it takes to do so. Essentially, the path is infinite dimensional, or said another way, the path is random. It can at the same time mean that one direction is more likely than another - the key to the randomness component is how long it takes to get to a given target, since information probably diffuses according to the square root of time, or more complexly, some Chaotic function/attractor that may be transient. Even in this case, markets can change abruptly because they are not stationary as a result of new information arriving nudging attractors around or shifting the regime entirely. That is why once the trade is put on, all you can do is "manage" the position (as a discretionary trader.)
I think maybe along these lines, I just haven't fully accepted the transition into discretionary trading yet, there is a part of me that wants to go back to being able to "let go" once the setup, entry, and stop are in place, but I don't know if that's possible in the kinds of trades I do now, at least it contradicts the principles by which I enter a trade and that part at least seems to be working.
FWIW, I have gone back and forth between discretionary trading and systematic several times, and believed that one was better than the other depending on whether my systems were getting killed and I had had enough. I now believe that it is possible to trade both ways at the same time and that is my current approach. But most of us are better suited to one way or the other on a given instrument. For example, I love discretion in equities because I believe that tape reading is useful here, but abhor it in SIFs. So during the day my computers are working hard and I am too, while out of the corner of my eye I see what they are doing and what it's positions is/are (I sometimes will even express my opinion out loud at my system on the given trade.

) The experience of going back and forth is not wasted though IMO, for each experience strengthens the other.
If possible, automating what you do by discretion is ideal. If not, then I suspect that assuming you have a great deal of discipline and perseverance, that if you give yourself enough time to gain the experience necessary, it will likely come to you one day and it will just click in your mind.
I'm probably holding on to some ideal of consistency which should have gone out the window once I decided to change the way I trade, sorry if this turns out to be just a bunch of whining.
I have responded to this thread and these posts in length because I see myself in them. I think that most traders that have the luxury (skill) of being able to trade both systematically and discretionary have gone through a similar boot camp.
nitro