Going Postal ...

N

neophyte321

Guest
I'm about to start blowing people away ... (well, maybe just one person)

I contract on software projects ... I'm 3 months into a 6 month contract, financial company, professional environment... There is a women that sits very near me who incessantly, morning until night, chews her gum LIKE A FRICKING COW. (i must have repressed childhood memories or something, because it literally give me the chills)...

I've brought ear plugs, by the end of the day I have a terrible migraine. I play music, but I again 9-10 hours causes headaches. I hear this fricking cow chewing her gum from 8am to 5pm OVER MUSIC playing from my headphones..

OK, QUESTION: How does one approach a grown woman and ask her to stop CHEWING HER GUM LIKE A FUCKING PIG

Ok, I dont' expect any solutions, just needed to vent .
 
You could ask if she remembers the movie Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.
If yes then ask if she remembers that fat girl that chewed gum all the time.
If she answers yes again then tell her she
is that girl.
 
Quote from neophyte321:

I'm about to start blowing people away ... (well, maybe just one person)

I contract on software projects ... I'm 3 months into a 6 month contract, financial company, professional environment... There is a women that sits very near me who incessantly, morning until night, chews her gum LIKE A FRICKING COW. (i must have repressed childhood memories or something, because it literally give me the chills)...

I've brought ear plugs, by the end of the day I have a terrible migraine. I play music, but I again 9-10 hours causes headaches. I hear this fricking cow chewing her gum from 8am to 5pm OVER MUSIC playing from my headphones..

OK, QUESTION: How does one approach a grown woman and ask her to stop CHEWING HER GUM LIKE A FUCKING PIG

Ok, I dont' expect any solutions, just needed to vent .
More...

I would change your diet to foods that provide methane quantities in volume and smell that can rattle the cube walls and when she complains tell her that you will gladly stop passing gas through dietary changes when she stops chewing cudd.

I think your original post is the best that has ever made me laugh on ET!
:D
 
I think you have to use finesse here. Instead of humiliating her, try to make her feel uncomfortable. Here is an idea:

Tell her apologizing (maybe with a smirk on your face) that you watched a pornmovie and the actress in it was chewing a gum through the whole act just like her, and anytime when you look at her... (you have to stop here)

This should work, unless she fancies you and want to get some action. In that case there can be a serious backfire!!!
 
How do you reprogram her when she's probably dumber than a box of rocks?

Would it do any good for her to see video of herself with the volume cranked up? Would it register?
 
I had a 15 minutes of fame thought you could do to her. Install a web cam (with sound of course)in the corner of the cube where is can't been seen and let the whole world watch her live. Then upload a few captured video clips and upload them to youtube then link to the video from digg!

:D
 
... Thanks for the suggestions.

Yesterday was the tipping point... I had a meltdown once before a couple months ago, I literally RAN out of my cube, drove around and found a Radio Shack and bought some headphones. I EXPLODED at Radio Shack to the salesclerk..... At least he, a 20 year old kid, had a story to tell about the crazed guy screaming about gum chewers...

I must have put out some kind of vibe yesterday, because today is the first day in like 3 months she isn't chewing gum at all (least of all LIKE A PIG). Coincedence or some sort of etra-sensory event ... not sure, don't care.

Perhaps she is an ET member

:)

In any event, much better day today, I choose yesterday to get back in the market after getting my ass handed to me 6 months ago... GREAT DAY! You GO CTSH, nothing like buying calls and getting 4 points and 4% IV points!


I Remeber Willy Wonka!!!! LOVE IT!
 
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