Get attached

Quote from Ghost of Cutten:

My problem is the opposite - I don't want to get attached, but they do.
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Ghost of Cutten,

I don't know how old you are. Have you ever try to manipulate them by saying things like "how much you really like them but is too young to be ready to settle down" for the purpose of keeping their hopes high so they will stick around longer, but you don't really intend to? Does it work?
 
Quote from nooby_mcnoob:

Quite frankly, love is a term created to explain a set of feelings that we experience as human animals. Love, the set of feelings, is not as important in real life as a respectful and caring relationship. The latter two characteristics are actually quantifiable to some extent.

I'm sure someone who falls in love every year or someone who does not have kids will feel different. I'm speaking from 10 years of marriage experience.
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But a respectful and caring relationship with no passion is doomed. One or both will cheat, or at the least feel very unfulfilled and trapped. That is why there are so many sexless marriages that end in divorce. You are ignoring the sexual component.
 
A lot of guys just don't understand the difference between a "long time" and a "good time". As concerns most of today's women, give me the "good time".

Never be with a woman more than 5 hours at a time. After that amount of time, you go your way, she goes hers.

Wow! I've just saved many of you an untold amount of problems and money!
 
Quote from jinxu:

Ghost of Cutten,

I don't know how old you are. Have you ever try to manipulate them by saying things like "how much you really like them but is too young to be ready to settle down" for the purpose of keeping their hopes high so they will stick around longer, but you don't really intend to? Does it work?
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No, why would I want to do that? I just say what I want, and women either say they aren't interested, say they are unsure but intrigued, or say they are into it too. Then I concentrate my efforts on the latter two groups.

I don't see the point in wasting time and effort 'manipulating' women who don't want the same as you, when you could be spending it having a great time with someone who has mutual interests. Why waste an unpleasant evening getting nagged over dinner by a family-minded lady about why you haven't shown commitment and moved her in or got engaged yet, when you could be swinging from the chandeliers with a more adventurous woman or two?
 
Quote from Ghost of Cutten:

...when you could be swinging from the chandeliers with a more adventurous woman or two?
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Be careful. Electrocution ain't fun.:p
 
Quote from Ghost of Cutten:

No, why would I want to do that? I just say what I want, and women either say they aren't interested, say they are unsure but intrigued, or say they are into it too. Then I concentrate my efforts on the latter two groups.

I don't see the point in wasting time and effort 'manipulating' women who don't want the same as you, when you could be spending it having a great time with someone who has mutual interests. Why waste an unpleasant evening getting nagged over dinner by a family-minded lady about why you haven't shown commitment and moved her in or got engaged yet, when you could be swinging from the chandeliers with a more adventurous woman or two?
More...
Idk, maybe from my experience that most young girls 18-25 range want that fantasy of falling in love and getting a relationship so you have to pretend you are into that and act nice if you want to hook up eventually. When they say they are looking for a nice guy, they really mean it, but a lot of nice guys are stupid.

And these are the type of girls that are pretty and normal. The types that are okay with abuse have self-esteem issues.

My dead ancestor told me in a dream this:

Women have sex to get a relationship.
Men have relationship to get sex.

Do you think that's true?
 
Quote from jinxu:

I heard that the first 1-2 years of marriage will be good, but then 3-5 years in the woman start to change. Is this true???
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I heard that the first year you meet anyone, their life doesn't change much but then the changes snowball and the person changes.

How can you expect someone *not* to change? That is unnatural.
 
Quote from BSAM:

A lot of guys just don't understand the difference between a "long time" and a "good time". As concerns most of today's women, give me the "good time".

Never be with a woman more than 5 hours at a time. After that amount of time, you go your way, she goes hers.

Wow! I've just saved many of you an untold amount of problems and money!
More...

You and I are pretty much in agreement. Where did the notion that a successful relationship=a long relationship? even with friends, relationships are inspiring for a while but they don't last...not in the same way anyway. The notion that love is this magic thing and lasts forever brings nothing but heartache and disappointment when it doesn't work out. Men and women ask 'what's wrong with me?' or 'what went wrong?'...when the only thing wrong was their expectation. I'm going to have a write a book about this because the whole paradigm of love (at least in the west) brings nothing but problems. Love is real, but it does not last forever.
 
Quote from nooby_mcnoob:

I heard that the first year you meet anyone, their life doesn't change much but then the changes snowball and the person changes.

How can you expect someone *not* to change? That is unnatural.
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That's a good point. I've changed so much in the past 10 years...even the past 2 years. Anyone who would have married me back then would be married to a totally different person now. And I want the free to continue to change/ to grow. Marriage is almost a promise not to change too much.
 
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