IMAO: Top Ten Ways the Democrat National Convention Could Be Even Lamer
"Apparently the Democrat National Convention, not being lame enough just by being full of Democrats, is also going to ban fried food, bottled water, and anything that isn't organic. And at the end of the event, they'll calculate your carbon footprint so you can offset it with the appropriate amount of magic beans. With all the racialness in their primary, it's still pretty obvious all the convention planning is being done by white people. It really sounds like they're just going to spend the convention sipping wheat grass juice while talking about how terrorism can be defeated by recycling. Really, why don't they just all come out of the closet and hold the thing at a gay bathhouse. Once again I ask how any men can be a part of these people? They must have booths there offering the spaying or neutering of husbands.
Still, there are ways the Democrat National Convention could be even worse. In fact, there are at least ten ways which I will proceed to list an ordered form.
TOP TEN WAYS THE DEMOCRAT NATIONAL CONVENTION COULD BE EVEN LAMER
10. Only the most carbon neutral entertainment allowed: Mimes.
9. Every hour they turn on FOX News for two minutes of hate.
8. Second day is all freestyle poetry.
7. Celebratory balloons being dropped on crowd replaced with much more biodegradable dyed hay.
6. Tolerance competitions!
5. To waste less electricity on microphones, all speakers will communicate through sign language.
4. Keynote speaker: Walter Mondale.
3. They announce that the Democrats' symbol of the donkey is to be replaced with the much more appropriate Queen of the Faeries.
2. All signs must include an Esperanto translation.
And the number one way the Democrat National Convention could be even lamer...
If they hear a single person use "Democrat" as an adjective, the whole thing is called off!"