Driver's ed: A stick-and-ball fan's guide to NASCAR
Posted: August 23, 2006
Matt Crossman
Sporting News NASCAR Wire Service
Another NASCAR postseason is nigh upon us, and for all you stick-and-ball snobs, it's time to pay attention. All we are saying . . . is give speed a chance. NASCAR isn't all oil and sponsors and dirty fingernails and tobacco spit and driving fast and turning left. It's mostly that stuff, but there's so much more.
In recent years, NASCAR has shuffled its schedule to broaden its appeal. The race on the Sunday before Labor Day moved to California, of all places. But maybe that's a good idea because NASCAR's biggest problem is that it is too provincial, too self-contained, too an island-unto-itself.
NASCAR has its own part of the country (Southeast), its own rules (made up weekly), even its own language. Perhaps being NASCAR-illiterate is keeping you from loving the sport. It might help to have a glossary for what's coming out of your TV this fall:
Aero: Short for aerodynamic.
Block: To prevent another car from passing.
Dirty air: The turbulence created in a car's wake. Also, the infield after the chili-eating contest.
Deal: A ubiquitous term that can mean contract, situation, altercation, relationship and pretty much anything else.
Infield: The area inside a track on which fans camp for days, then watch the one-eighth of each lap they're able to see from the top of their RVs. Makes Woodstock look serene.
Loose: The rear tires aren't sticking enough, meaning a fishtail is likely. Also, an infield camper's grip on reality at 1 a.m. Sunday.
Restrictor plate: A device put on each car's carburetor at Daytona and Talladega to limit horsepower. The intent is to slow the cars down for safety reasons, but the result is bunched-up cars, big wrecks and boring races. Restrictor plates are almost universally hated.
Stick-and-ball: All sports played without cars.
Them: Those.
Tight: The front tires lose traction, making steering difficult. Also, Mark Martin's skin.
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