Have you ever talked to John Lennon for three hours over breakfast? I have.
Have you ever been homeless, and slept on a park bench for three months? (Second bench, junkies row, Washington Square) I have.
Have you ever signed a seven-figure employment contract? I have.
Have you ever been forced into bankruptcy? I have.
Have you ever listened to Larry King rip you a new one, live on the air? I have.
Have you ever gotten sloshed with Rush Limbaugh in a local bar? I have.
Have you ever gotten up one morning, thinking that the world was just fine, but lost your wife, your best friend, your family, and your home all before the sun went down? I have.
Have you ever been on Crossfire, NightLine, and the NBC Nightly News? I have.
Have you ever had part of your foot amputated? I have.
Have you ever had a knock down, drag out argument with Jerry Garcia? I have.
Have you ever had your car repossessed, your phone shutoff, and been evicted from your apartment? I have.
Have you ever been the inspiration for the main character in a major motion picture? I have.
Have you ever gone blind in one eye? I have.
Have you ever been offered a five year, no cut deal by one of the three networks? I have.
Have you ever cheated on your wife, then nearly gone out of your mind when you discovered that she cheated on you? I have.
Have you ever been mentioned in âPage Sixâ. I have.
Have you ever been good friends with a disgraced televangelist? I have.
Did you ever spend the evening talking to David Duke? I have.
Did you ever sing a chorus of âAliceâs Restaurantâ with Arlo? I have. (Just for the record, he told me that I would have to sing a lot louder if I wanted to end the war.)
Have you ever startled an entire theater full of people, then made them laugh, then made them shed real tears, all in the course of an hour? I have.
Have you ever called a rodeo, a major league ball game, and shared a stage with J. Giles? I have.
Have you ever lost $14,000 in one morning, trading corn futures? I have.
Have you ever refereed a professional wrestling match? I have.
Have you ever been tried for burglary? I have.
Have you ever overdosed on amphetamines? I have.
Have you ever done more than 100 Acid trips? I have.
Have you ever made love to a person of a different race? I have.
Have you ever been over to Jerry Wexlerâs house? (Co-founder of Atlantic Records) I have.
Have you ever had one of your photographs published on the front page of every major newspaper in the country? I have.
Have you ever testified against your own father at a child custody hearing? I have.
Have you ever called the draft board, and told themâ Iâm not going? I have.
Have you ever had a two page feature on you published in one of the countryâs top ten papers? I have.
Have you ever been stood up bt Emmy Lou Harris? I have.
Have you ever gone more than five months in the market, in the black? I havenât, and itâs likking me...
Does that pretty much answer the question?