Patriot Act III coming you way
: Operator: "Thank you for calling Pizza Hut.
: May I have your..."
:
: Customer: "Hi, I'd like to order."
:
: Operator: "May I have your NIDN first, sir?"
:
: Customer: "My National ID Number, yeah, hold on, eh,
: it's 6102049998-45-54610."
:
: Operator: "Thank you, Mr. Sheehan. I see you live at 1742
: Meadowland Drive, and the phone number's 494-2366. Your office
: number over at Lincoln Insurance is 745-2302 and your cell number's
: 266-2566. Which number are you calling from, sir?"
:
: Customer: "Huh? I'm at home. Where d'ya get all this information?"
:
: Operator: "We're wired into the system, sir."
:
: Customer: (Sighs) "Oh, well, I'd like to order a couple of your
: All-Meat Special pizzas..."
:
: Operator: "I don't think that's a good idea, sir."
:
: Customer: "Whaddya mean?"
:
: Operator: "Sir, your medical records indicate that you've
: got very high blood pressure and extremely high cholesterol.
: Your National Health Care provider won't allow such an
: unhealthy choice."
:
: Customer: "Damn. What do you recommend, then?"
:
: Operator: "You might try our low-fat Soybean Yogurt Pizza.
: I'm sure you'll like it"
:
: Customer: "What makes you think I'd like something like that?"
:
: Operator: "Well, you checked out 'Gourmet Soybean Recipes' from
: your local library last week, sir. That's why I made
: the suggestion."
:
: Customer: "All right, all right. Give me two family-sized ones,
: then. What's the damage?"
:
: Operator: "That should be plenty for you, your wife and your
: four kids, sir. The 'damage,' as you put it, heh, heh, comes
: $49.99."
:
: Customer: "Lemme give you my credit card number."
:
: Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid you 'll have to pay in
: cash. Your credit card balance is over its limit."
:
: Customer: "I'll run over to the ATM and get some cash before
: your driver gets here."
:
: Operator: "That won't work either, sir. Your checking account's
: overdrawn."
:
: Customer: "Never mind. Just send the pizzas. I'll have the cash
: ready. How long will it take?"
:
: Operator: "We're running a little behind, sir. It'll be about 45
: minutes, sir. If you're in a hurry you might want to pick 'em up
: while you're out getting the cash, but carrying pizzas on a
: motorcycle can be a little awkward."
:
: Customer: "How the hell do you know I'm riding a bike?"
:
: Operator: "It says here you're in arrears on your car payments,
: so your car got repo'ed. But your Harley's paid up, so I just
: assumed that you'd be using it."
:
: Customer: "@#%/$@&?#!"
:
: Operator: "I'd advise watching your language, sir. You've
: already got a July 2006 conviction for cussing out a cop."
:
: Customer: (Speechless)
:
: Operator: "Will there be anything else, sir?"
:
: Customer: "No, nothing. oh, yeah, don't forget the two free
: liters of Coke your ad says I get with the pizzas."
:
: Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but our ad's exclusionary clause
: prevents us from offering free soda to diabetics."
: Operator: "Thank you for calling Pizza Hut.
: May I have your..."
:
: Customer: "Hi, I'd like to order."
:
: Operator: "May I have your NIDN first, sir?"
:
: Customer: "My National ID Number, yeah, hold on, eh,
: it's 6102049998-45-54610."
:
: Operator: "Thank you, Mr. Sheehan. I see you live at 1742
: Meadowland Drive, and the phone number's 494-2366. Your office
: number over at Lincoln Insurance is 745-2302 and your cell number's
: 266-2566. Which number are you calling from, sir?"
:
: Customer: "Huh? I'm at home. Where d'ya get all this information?"
:
: Operator: "We're wired into the system, sir."
:
: Customer: (Sighs) "Oh, well, I'd like to order a couple of your
: All-Meat Special pizzas..."
:
: Operator: "I don't think that's a good idea, sir."
:
: Customer: "Whaddya mean?"
:
: Operator: "Sir, your medical records indicate that you've
: got very high blood pressure and extremely high cholesterol.
: Your National Health Care provider won't allow such an
: unhealthy choice."
:
: Customer: "Damn. What do you recommend, then?"
:
: Operator: "You might try our low-fat Soybean Yogurt Pizza.
: I'm sure you'll like it"
:
: Customer: "What makes you think I'd like something like that?"
:
: Operator: "Well, you checked out 'Gourmet Soybean Recipes' from
: your local library last week, sir. That's why I made
: the suggestion."
:
: Customer: "All right, all right. Give me two family-sized ones,
: then. What's the damage?"
:
: Operator: "That should be plenty for you, your wife and your
: four kids, sir. The 'damage,' as you put it, heh, heh, comes
: $49.99."
:
: Customer: "Lemme give you my credit card number."
:
: Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid you 'll have to pay in
: cash. Your credit card balance is over its limit."
:
: Customer: "I'll run over to the ATM and get some cash before
: your driver gets here."
:
: Operator: "That won't work either, sir. Your checking account's
: overdrawn."
:
: Customer: "Never mind. Just send the pizzas. I'll have the cash
: ready. How long will it take?"
:
: Operator: "We're running a little behind, sir. It'll be about 45
: minutes, sir. If you're in a hurry you might want to pick 'em up
: while you're out getting the cash, but carrying pizzas on a
: motorcycle can be a little awkward."
:
: Customer: "How the hell do you know I'm riding a bike?"
:
: Operator: "It says here you're in arrears on your car payments,
: so your car got repo'ed. But your Harley's paid up, so I just
: assumed that you'd be using it."
:
: Customer: "@#%/$@&?#!"
:
: Operator: "I'd advise watching your language, sir. You've
: already got a July 2006 conviction for cussing out a cop."
:
: Customer: (Speechless)
:
: Operator: "Will there be anything else, sir?"
:
: Customer: "No, nothing. oh, yeah, don't forget the two free
: liters of Coke your ad says I get with the pizzas."
:
: Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but our ad's exclusionary clause
: prevents us from offering free soda to diabetics."