For those that miss $$$MR. MARKET$$$

UPDATE 1-Shill Securities shares hit year high after Mr. Market deal
May 14, 2003 4:24:00 PM ET
CHICAGO, May 13 (Reuters) Shill Securities’ (SHIL) shares soared to a year high on Tuesday, a day after the maker of false promises and self serving comments agreed to acquire the assets and talents of both Mr. Market Enterprises and Associates (MEATS) and his web site, Challenging Enterprises Systems (CHEESE)
SHILL shares rose as much as 177 percent to $3.30 and was the largest percentage gainer on the Nosdaq exchange. They closed up $1.74, or 146 percent, at $2.93 on Tuesday.
Analysts said SHiILL was boosting its market share in on line trading field, making it a stronger rival to Aphex Industries.
Shill Securities late on Monday said it had agreed to acquire MR. MARKET businesses for three easy payments of $39.99…But that’s not all. They also spun off their Bagel Cutter division which will now be headed directly by Mr. Market.
ABOUT Shill Securities: Shill is the foremost provider of false promises, self promotion and sly efforts to attract unwitting investors and traders alike by posting rates and other promises that will never be achieved.
Mr. Market is an acclaimed stock market analyst who has now made 15 consecutive profitable trades dating back to 1973.
“ It’s a match made in heaven,” said Shill CEO, Ben Dover. “ We have made a business out of sly self promotion and flat out lies about our rates and services, but now that Mr. Market is here we can utilize his expertise in telling white lies instead of flat out lying”
Please contact Haywood Jablowmie, VP of Public Relations for a transcript
 
Quote from TM_Direct:

UPDATE 1-Shill Securities shares hit year high after Mr. Market deal
May 14, 2003 4:24:00 PM ET
CHICAGO, May 13 (Reuters) Shill Securities’ (SHIL) shares soared to a year high on Tuesday, a day after the maker of false promises and self serving comments agreed to acquire the assets and talents of both Mr. Market Enterprises and Associates (MEATS) and his web site, Challenging Enterprises Systems (CHEESE)
SHILL shares rose as much as 177 percent to $3.30 and was the largest percentage gainer on the Nosdaq exchange. They closed up $1.74, or 146 percent, at $2.93 on Tuesday.
Analysts said SHiILL was boosting its market share in on line trading field, making it a stronger rival to Aphex Industries.
Shill Securities late on Monday said it had agreed to acquire MR. MARKET businesses for three easy payments of $39.99…But that’s not all. They also spun off their Bagel Cutter division which will now be headed directly by Mr. Market.
ABOUT Shill Securities: Shill is the foremost provider of false promises, self promotion and sly efforts to attract unwitting investors and traders alike by posting rates and other promises that will never be achieved.
Mr. Market is an acclaimed stock market analyst who has now made 15 consecutive profitable trades dating back to 1973.
“ It’s a match made in heaven,” said Shill CEO, Ben Dover. “ We have made a business out of sly self promotion and flat out lies about our rates and services, but now that Mr. Market is here we can utilize his expertise in telling white lies instead of flat out lying”
Please contact Haywood Jablowmie, VP of Public Relations for a transcript
More...

After looking at this chart, I'm really interested. Does anyone have Mr. Jablowmie's phone number or email? I'd like to see about joining the Shill team!!!
 

Attachments

MrMarket is busy auditioning for the new porn movie:

"Xena, The Warrior Crossdresser"

xena22.jpg
 
UPDATE 1-Shill Securities suspends Mr. Market deal
May 14, 2003 4:24:00 PM ET
Reuters: New York
Mr. Market, president and CEO of (MEAT) and (CHEES) has called off the proposed buyout of his companies by Shill Securities, inc ( SHILL). He released this announcement though his personal Spokeswoman, Ms. Alice Vulva. When asked to comment, Alice would only say Mr. Market was upset at certain content in the news release. When pressed further for comment, Alice mentioned she enjoys long walks on the beach, Camping and Shaving Mr. Markets back.
ABOUT Shill Securities: Shill is the foremost provider of false promises, self promotion and sly efforts to attract unwitting investors and traders alike by posting rates and other promises that will never be achieved.
Mr. Market is an acclaimed stock market analyst who has now made 15 consecutive profitable trades dating back to 1973.
Shill CEO, Ben Dover also refused to comment and instead asked that everyone contact contact Haywood Jablowmie, VP of Public Relations or his assistant, Ms. Wilma Dickfit.
According to unnamed sources Mr. Market was furious at “white lies” being attributed to his name in the initial press release.
 
In a direct and heated debate with reporter TM_Direct Mr. Market has this to say:

mrmarket
Member



Registered: Oct 2002
Posts: 98
I laughed
until you called me a liar. I'm outta here.

Ernie
 
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