with apologies to the Pogues and the late, great Kirsty McColl
It was Christmas Eve shag,
Down the Mithras,
An old trader said to me, won't see another one
And then he sang a song
About the dollar yen,
And he said to me,
Weâll see the lows again
Got on a lucky one
Cable fell from two to one,
I've got a feeling
This year's worth a bob or two,
So happy Christmas
I love my job you see
I can see a better time
When all my dreams come true
Weâve got cars big as bars
Weâve got rivers of gold
But the market goes right through you
It's no place for the old
When you first took on me
Back in 1983,
You promised me
A big bonus was waiting for me
I was fast
I was quick
But a little bit thick,
When the market stopped buying
It looked for some bids
The screens were all pinging,
All the dealers were singing
We booked a big profit
Then danced on the desk
And the boys in the CDS room
Were singing away
And the bells were ringing out
For Christmas day
You're a bum
You're a punk
Our bonds are now junk
Weâd certainly be dead if it werenât for the Fed,
You scumbag, you maggot
You cheap lousy faggot
Happy Christmas your a&*e
I pray God it's our last
I could have been someone
Well so could anyone
You worked for Citi Bank
When I first met you
I took on your book
I merged it with my own
Can't make it all alone
I've built my P&L around you
It was Christmas Eve shag,
Down the Mithras,
An old trader said to me, won't see another one
And then he sang a song
About the dollar yen,
And he said to me,
Weâll see the lows again
Got on a lucky one
Cable fell from two to one,
I've got a feeling
This year's worth a bob or two,
So happy Christmas
I love my job you see
I can see a better time
When all my dreams come true
Weâve got cars big as bars
Weâve got rivers of gold
But the market goes right through you
It's no place for the old
When you first took on me
Back in 1983,
You promised me
A big bonus was waiting for me
I was fast
I was quick
But a little bit thick,
When the market stopped buying
It looked for some bids
The screens were all pinging,
All the dealers were singing
We booked a big profit
Then danced on the desk
And the boys in the CDS room
Were singing away
And the bells were ringing out
For Christmas day
You're a bum
You're a punk
Our bonds are now junk
Weâd certainly be dead if it werenât for the Fed,
You scumbag, you maggot
You cheap lousy faggot
Happy Christmas your a&*e
I pray God it's our last
I could have been someone
Well so could anyone
You worked for Citi Bank
When I first met you
I took on your book
I merged it with my own
Can't make it all alone
I've built my P&L around you