At the outset of this huge post, let me disclaim that I am just winging it here, and that there must be books and other publications that more correctly explain this.
Yes--that's what I said in the second post of this thread. The premium remaining in the calls can be approximated by the put value.
I'm not sure what you mean exactly by "the premium remaining in the calls." I would agree that just before the stock goes ex-dividend, the puts should have higher premiums than the calls by an amount such that reducing the stock price by the dividend amount would make put and call premiums at each strike equal.
What I'm objecting to is your notion that calls would reduce by the dividend amount following x-div.
Let's start with a ridiculously simple, mostly qualitative example: imagine a call with a strike price of zero.
A call with a strike price of zero that can be exercised immediately on demand should be worth whatever the stock is worth at that moment (ignoring transaction costs, carrying costs, etc.). If stock XYZ is selling for $10 today, will go ex-dividend of $1 tomorrow, and therefore will trade at $9 tomorrow if the market's opinion of its value does not change, the price of a $0 XYZ call will also have those same prices at those times. So, I hope you would agree that a call with a $0 strike will experience a drop by the amount of the dividend in the absence of any change in the market's opinion.
At this point, you might be tempted to consider whether a $0 strike can be dismissed as just a special case. If so, imagine a call with an almost as ridiculous $0.01 strike. It would have been worth infinitesimally more than $9.99 yesterday and infinitesimally more than $8.99 today, where these "infinitesimally more" values are the value of protection from the underlying stock share price dropping below $.01 before the option expires. Those "infinitesimally more" values are the premiums yesterday and today, where today's premium might be higher due to the lower $8.99 price making it more likely that the stock will drop below $0.01 or lower due to less time remaining under the option's expiration. So, I hope you would agree that a call with a very low non-zero strike price can experience a drop by the amount of the dividend in the absence of any change in the market's opinion.
So what happens as the strike price becomes substantial? I believe that my made-up model I described earlier in this thread can explain the part of the call price drop the occurs earlier than the ex-dividend dividend event and the price drop that occurs only when the stock finally goes ex-dividend, although I did make a mistake in describing it, in that the strikes that I listed as k-dividend should have been k+dividend (where k is the original strike price),
II believe that the value of an option with strike price k across an ex-dividend event of d should be approximately the same as this combination of options on the stock if it were instead retaining the dividend (ignoring carrying costs, interest rates, etc.):
1. a long option (call or put) at strike k, expiring just before ex-dividend date.
2. a short option (same type) at strike k + dividend, also expiring just before the ex-dividend date.
3. a long option (same type) at strike k + dividend, expiring at the expiration date of the real option,
...with the imaginary restrictions that if you want to exercise this, both long options get exercised and the short option gets assigned, and that is the only way that the short position in line 2 gets assigned (or at least that the premium saved from getting assigned pays for your recreating the short leg in line 2).
The first two lines of the above position form a spread, which gradually drops to no value if the price just before the ex-dividend event ends up below strike k, in which case there is no gap down in value when the stock goes ex-dividend, assuming if the dividend-adjusted value of the stock remains the same. I think this is the case you had in mind.
But now let's consider what happens if the pre-dividend price ends up being above strike price k, in other words, the spread expiring just before ex-dividend date is at least partly in the money. In that case, although it is possible for the first two lines to produce some decay in value before the ex-dividend event if the pre-dividend price ends up being close to the strike k, the first two lines of the position have value at the ex-dividend event, and a decision must be made either to exercise/assign all three positions together or forfeit the profit from from the first two lines in order to preserve the premium of the third line. Forfeiting the value of the spread from the first two parts of this combination position is what happens if you don't exercise a call going ex-dividend. The value of that spread, which has a maximum value of the full dividend amount, is value by which the call should gap down when the underlying stock starts trading ex-dividend if the underlying price does not do anything other than drop by the dividend amount.
So, I hope you can now better understand why I think that calls can be expected to gap down by amounts approaching the dividend amount at an ex-dividend event.