Its funny because right when you switch to the NQ,
@speedo switched to the ES. Of course you're using different strategies I'm sure, but its just interesting.
With regards to widening stops, this gets very tricky. If you widen your stop just 1 point, imagine how much more you need to make over the long term. Sure that extra point might save a few trades from stopping out, but when you add on an extra point for every trade that fails, it adds up to lots of points.
The NQ is a bit of a bitch to trade because you simply cannot wait for any confirmation. If you want to see a move start, its now 5 points from where you should have gotten in. Now your stop has to be over 5 points wide, which as you're seeing is quite wide. Once you got a trade going against you $60, $80, $100, you all of a sudden realize you don't want to use that wide of a stop.
Now since you're using 5 points stops, you need at the very least 5 points profit, but if you're getting in once its moved 5 points, you're essentially wanting it to go straight in your direction 10 points, the 5 you need to see first, and the 5 additional you need for your profit.
As you've noticed, these 5 point moves happen very quickly, and this same $100 for 5 NQ points is 2 ES points, which sometimes takes many minutes, so this requires a huge psychological change.
With the NQ, using small stops requires that you're getting into trade before you even have any idea if it will work or not. When you think about it though, you never have any idea if a trade will work or not. Once you actually see it working in the NQ, this is now the most dangerous place to get in, unless you're using a wide stop, which is not always the right thing to do.
In my opinion, trading really requires you to get into a move where you think it might work, but in an area where you have no idea. At least if it fails, you have a tight stop, and hopefully it failed in an area where you thought it wouldn't dip into since you got in so early. If you wait for that confirmation, a different set of fears kick in, and with the NQ, those fears are usually realized as it goes against you right away.