Economics Joke

[spect8or]

Came across this one reading Thomas Friedman's The Lexis and the Olive Tree today. (Good read, had been planning on reading it for ages.)

An African finance minister is visiting an Asian finance minister at his impressive palatial estate. Wowed, the African asks the Asian how he can afford the palace on his salary? The Asian walks him over to the window and points outside, "See that bridge over there?", he asks. "Yes". The Asian points to himself, "Ten percent".

A year later the African invites the Asian over for dinner at his even grander palatial estate. Intrigued, the Asian asks how he managed to pay for it all. The African points to the window, "See that bridge over there?" The Asian looks outside, "No. What are you talking about? There's no bridge there." The African answers, "Exactly". Smiling, he points to himself. "100 percent".

 

[spect8or]

Another one.

A chemist, an engineer and an economist are stranded on a deserted island. They carry with them some canned food but have no ordinary means of opening the cans. The chemist suggests gathering some wood and starting a fire and then holding the cans over the heat, counting on the expanding contents to burst open the cans. The engineer thinks it would be better to try smashing the cans open with some of the rocks lying around. The economist begins, "Assume we had a can opener..."

 

[WarEagle]

Quote from spect8or:

"Assume we had a can opener..."

LOL, so true...

I had an econ professor that always like to say that God created economists to make weathermen look good.

 

[harrytrader]

At 18 years old, Rockfeller had no money. He found an apple in the street. The fruit was dirty he cleaned it and resold it 50 cents to a man walking in the street ... with his 50 cents he bought 2 apples 25 cents each, and resold them 1$ to another man walking in the street ... with his 1 dollar he bought 4 apples, and resold them of course 2$ ... at 19 years he inherited from his grandmother...

 

[harrytrader]

A student asked a professor of economics:
- What is the difference between socialism and capitalism ?
The professor answered
- Capitalism is the exploitation of humans by humans
The Student:
- And socialism ?
The professor:
- It's the inverse of course.

 

[dougcs]

Why do we have economic forecasts?

To make astrology respectable.

 

[harrytrader]

A Chinese man went into a bar in Hawaii to have some drinks. At the bar was Hollywood director, Steven Spielberg. After a round of beer the Chinese sensed that the famous director was glaring at him.Suddenly, in a flash the Chinese crashed down from his stool, felled by a vicious punch from the director. Picking himself up, he yelled, "What the hell was that for?" The director ranted, "That's for the bombing of Pearl Harbor; my dad perished in that bombing!" "I am not Japanese, you idiot! I am Chinese!" "Yeah, yeah,yeah...Japanese, Burmese, Chinese, you are all the same", retorted Spielberg.

Regaining his composure, the Chinese took his seat and ordered a double from the bartender. A few seconds later, the Chinese turned around and delivered a mighty punch to the director, sending him flat to the floor.

"What was that for?" exclaimed the director. "That's for sinking the Titanic! I had ancestors on that ship!" the Chinese replied. "You ignorant man! The Titanic was sunk by an iceberg!" shouted the director. "Yeah, yeah, yeah...Iceberg, Carlsberg, Spielberg, you are all the same!"

 

[alfonso]

Three economists are out hunting deer. The first one takes a shot and misses by a meter to the right. The second shoots and misses by a meter to the left. The third one begins shouting, "we got him, we got him!"

******

An economist: someone good with numbers that doesn't have the personality to be an accountant.

 

[murray t turtle]

Quote from WarEagle:

LOL, so true...

I had an econ professor that always like to say that God created economists to make weathermen look good.

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Harrytrader;
Know you dont like certain icebergs & certain derivatives;
but to paraphrase Sheldon Natenberg, traders can also help read the weather by looking out the window in Chicago.

And see what clothes the people in Chicago are wearing.

 

[harrytrader]

Quote from murray t turtle:

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Harrytrader;
Know you dont like certain icebergs & certain derivatives;
but to paraphrase Sheldon Natenberg, traders can also help read the weather by looking out the window in Chicago.

And see what clothes the people in Chicago are wearing.

I have nothing against icebergs, sweddish Carlsberg (I think) either, or Spielberg : Indiana Jones is my favorite film (as well as Harrison Ford my favorite actor) .

Rather there are 2 "er" that I hate: Hitler (who pretended to be catholic) and Rockfeller (no religion I know). For the rest I have no feelings. Also "an" in JP Morgan a well-reknowned catholic racist anti-jew and "ild" in Rotchild supposed to be a jew: as you can see money is above religion's dispute as the two are allied the former being the vassal of the second.

Can add Chirac, Mitterand, Bush, Clinton (above all Hillary), Laden (I almost forgot this one since it was so obvious) and you can see that the sampling of names suffix are quite varied and so not significant statistically as for me : I have no predetermined preference or dislike due solely on that reason : I judge on the acts only .