Quote from Lucrum:
I had a now dead uncle who had a P.h.D in chemistry. Many years ago he said something to the effect. Anyone who believes all you see around you just happened by chance is a fucking idiot.
(paraphrased, as it was a long time ago)
He was not at any time during his life the least bit religious.
The reason I am religious isn't because I have researched phenomena and events of history or read the Bible or was brought up religiously. Although from an objective standpoint, those things would have convinced me that there is an afterlife and a supreme being.
In fact in my 20's I pretty much divorced myself from religion. I could have cared less. Then in my 30's I began to realize that the world didn't make sense to me without a higher intelligence. I had trouble trying to reconcile the fact that I was here and the universe with all it's mysteries was here and not believing in an afterlife or an intelligence of design didn't fit with that. If there wasn't an intelligent mind to appreciate the living world and the amazing universe it made no sense to me that it, or I, was here.
I couldn't bring myself to believe that at the end of everyone's life was death and that was it. That someday Earth will be destroyed and that will probably be the end of all thinking humans. That there wasn't some purpose. With out a creator or greater intelligence it seemed to me that there couldn't be a purpose. There would be no point to all the mysteries. The existence of the universe makes no sense to me if that is the case.
When I put myself in that mindset, that no God (for lack of a better word) exits then nothing makes sense to me. There is no reason for any of it. It doesn't matter if you are honest or a crook, feel compassion or don't. It doesn't even matter if you die at this moment or live for a 1000 years. None of it matters.
But there is something in the back of my mind that keeps telling me that it does matter. What I do may not have any effect on anyone in 100 years or 1000 years from now but it does matter. What people do and how they behave does matter beyond the now. And something is telling me that it will matter somewhere forever.
If Earth were destroyed tomorrow it wouldn't be the end of intelligent thought. It wouldn't be the end of our intelligent thought. That the universe isn't so mysterious and vast and that it exists just because it does. There is a reason behind it and we are an integral part of that reason.
When I think it is too preposterous to think there is a creator thoughts that nothing makes sense if that is the case come flooding back to the front of my mind and remind me of my research and the fact that things only make sense in my mind if there is something more.
So, even if I never heard of God, if I had never been able to look into historical accounts of religion and phenomena I could no more decide to believe there isn't something more, that there isn't an afterlife and a higher being, than I could just stop breathing. It's part of me and I didn't put it there.
I know that probably doesn't make sense to anyone but me but I don't know how to explain it any other way.