Yeah, you're right, even with a metaphor, it's not a simple translation. It's a little easier when talking about DeFi, ETH, staking and yield bearing tokens. They can mostly map onto bonds which TradFi understands.
We did have our first fail of PlanB's S2F model, so there's that. The space, even with mainstream adoption, is still (and most likely continue) like the wild west. The amount of scams, rugpulls and malicious code is prevalent and almost seems to increase by the day.
Never-the-less, much like your "tesla moment", there is a "btc" moment and with it a conviction that turns corrections, pullbacks and even bear markets into lifetime opportunities.
BTC is just the gatekeeper. Once assimilated, then the other crypto's can be "seen" in a different light.
MemeFi is a thing, as GME, AMC, DOGE, SHIB, SAFEMOON, et al have illustrated this past year but it was the OG BTC that meme itself into a 1T MC existence.
So the main classes I use for mental models are:
TradFi - Legacy institutions, systems, platforms
Using BTC or ETH as a base, then
BTC Dominance - where is the crypto market in it's cycle
BTC/ETH - premium or discount
Major Alts - L1's
DeFi - L2's, major lending/borrowing protocols, Liquidity Pools, Staking, Yield bearing tokens
MemeFi - The "shitcoins" casino
GameFi - The f2p, p2e, transportable digital assets
SocialFi - The emergence of DAO's, governance tokens
NiftyFi - Fractionalized ownership/premium access