I'll echo the thoughts of taking some time to grieve, relax, and find some peace. Trading will be there, and there are times to walk away, this seems like one.
Hopefully this won't be polluting your thread, but I have had the experience similiar to yours. My Dad passed away in 2011. I knew he was in tough shape and missed my Mom(2007), but it hit me hard anyway. My sister was a wreck. I was the one who had to make the call to let him go, and at the moment it seemed an obvious choice in light of the circumstances. I ended up doing all the planning for the funeral, giving the eulogy, and meeting with the lawyer afterwards. I was wrapped up in getting it all right, and had no time to think about what just happened. I should have known I wasn't right when the guard did a 21 gun salute outside the chapel and I fu**ing lost it.
I didn't and it was eating me up. I started pounding booze daily, and trading for the sake of being distracted. The trading didn't end as bad as it should have, but I was a crap hole mess. The wife stepped up and got me help.
Don't be afraid, embarrased, or any of that shit to go talk to someone. It isn't a magic bullet and all is better, but it will help you move forward, and retain the positive memories. I would say a professional maybe the best option, but if you are religious, most churches have groups, or even just sitting back with friends a few times a month is a good option.
Sorry for your loss, and peace.
Bob