Lol. I wouldn’t trade my aesthetics for any dollar amount.
Daytrading & Divorce.....
- Thread starter David Donner
- Start date
Refuse to let her use your daughter as a bargaining chip - as in don't see her any more?
Any access to kids seems to require the mum to want to participate. Her not showing up, no penalty. Him no showing up, he's not committed to the relationship, and further access can be reviewed.
The trick is to make everyone think you don't care.
It's not real easy to be in a positive state of mind when the state that took your fortune is then taking most of your income, for "child support".OK and if you don't earn back your fortune, so what? Are you homeless? No. Happiness in life comes from acceptance of your situation and dealing with it, not avoiding pain. The fact is that you got caught up in a shitty situation is a confluence of your own bad decision making and what society has deemed appropriate for broken families.
That being said, the state these days will usually not block you from seeing your kid **even in the case of alleged or true domestic violence**. Many states are defaulting to shared parenting, joint custody. The days of high conflict divorce are now only dependent on high conflict people and the science says that if you married a high conflict woman, then guess what? You dug your own grave.
I married a high conflict woman, and divorce went pretty much as expected. 6-7 years of court, multiple agreements not adhered to (by her), etc. etc. This is the tax I paid for making a mistake many years ago. We've been divorced longer than we've been married and it's still ongoing in various ways. You see, high conflict people cannot fathom that no one wants to be with them, they believe the other party must be wrong.
I have maintained my freedom to do what I want, and yes it has cost me a lot in dollar value, but there is no situation I can fathom in which I cannot go anywhere, rent a room for $500-$1000/month and live out my life in peace, running every morning, hiking every weekend and generally just enjoying life.
No this is not ideal. Ideally, I would have no restrictions on my future success, but the fact is that compounding is difficult if you have to constantly access capital to defend against the latest accusation in court. I also like to travel.
A fortune is less important than living the live you want. What good does $10,000,000 in the bank do if you can't enjoy your life anyway? Or if your kids are unhappy?
Watching that money not be spent on the child is unpleasant.
Not having proper access as not great.
Doesn't feel especially free.
Judges don't like a history of that when you're arranging parenting orders.
The scorpion and the fox crossing the river.. I had this on my Facebook for a while, when I was in the thick of it. Quite apt. And, indeed, their nature.
That trick does not work when you have kids. It's Best to get along with the mom and kids for the future benefit of the kids. As a man, you will have to bite that bullet and deal with the mom if kid stay with mom. Just do what the judge tell you to do when kids are involved.
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Just figured out hot to Ignore a poster.
Yes, there is not much you can do , just pay the child support and keep it moving. Just do your part man and be done with it.
It's a state of mind.
Say you are paying her $2000/month for child support. Let's say she spends $500/month on the child. There are only one of two options:
1. She is spending $1500/month on herself which makes her happy
2. She is investing $1500/month which gives her independence
In either case, she is making her life better. Now you come along and say "HOW DARE YOU SPEND CHILD SUPPORT ON YOURSELF". Well guess what, it's fungible. No way you're going to get away with that in court. There are probably only a handful of cases where child support is reduced with such a large amount because most of it goes to the lawyer and it's a racket.
Instead, show that it doesn't affect you. There will then be less incentive to try and piss you off and may accidentally start spending money on the kids.
How do I know this? I did this.