On Monday my potential profit was about 1.5k in the middle of the afternoon, until stocks started plunging, and I held to the bitter end instead of observing the mental stop that I had determined. I rarely hold stocks throughout the day because I hate the possibility that this might happen, as I get easily frustrated and get out too late. But I also experience frustration at the thought of missing all the rallies, so I went for it, but was incapable of exiting the trade. When I capitulated, I was furious, thinking that I may have sold at the bottom, and could not resist entering a new long position, with full leverage this time. Of course, the stock price kept falling and I sold late (at the real bottom), doubling my previous loss.
On Tuesday I saw a nice move coming at the open on another stock but I did not dare trade it and probably felt frustrated as I saw my prediction materialize. I think this led to poor quality "revenge" trades during the rest of the day. I also anticipated a likely strong rise in yet another stock halfway through the morning, very similar to the move I had traded the day before, but having been bitten and twice shy, I did not dare trade it. I thus missed a near 20% move on that stock.
The next two days were decent.
On Friday I anticipated a considerable pullback in a stock that had surged over 80% in 12 days, and it happened, but I hesitated too long before shorting it. I started irrationally buying the stock, perhaps because my previous experiences in similar situations had led me to believe that I always initiate reversal/fade trades too early. I fooled myself into thinking that the drop was just a "fakedown" and held my long position even though the price kept falling at a tremendous rate. When I capitulated, I was down 1.2k. The only reason I ended up with a profit was that I eventually shorted that stock and held the position for a while. I managed to cover right at the low of the day.
I am gripped by fear most of the time and that is what prevents me from trading what my intuition tells me is the most likely outcome of a setup. The irony is that I also enter many trades on an impulse and with no good reason. Sometimes, as was the case on Monday, I gather the courage to trade what I think is right, but I struggle to accept that at some point the trade may become stale.
Thank you for your question 10 bagger. Until I started this thread I had only held a private journal and it never really helped me. I hope this more public form of journaling will be useful.
First off, I'm sorry to hear about your losses and thank you for sharing your thought process.
I think every trader have made the mistake of "revenge trading" during their trading career. I know i have done this quite a few times over the course of the past decade of trading. Every trader have a different financial situation, trading strategies, and different appetite for risks so take pick and choose what i say if anything i say is a bit helpful.
1. You mentioned that you have been trading full time for 1.5 years so were you profitable from day 1? If so, you are a rare breed. It took me 7-8 years of trading part time until i finally become consistently profitable in 2012. Without the occurrence of a blackswan, if your daily swings have an emotional affect on your ability to execute your trading plan there is a good chance you are overtrading and should think about lowering your trading size.
IMO early on your trading career you should concentrate more on following your trading plan, learning as much as you can with the market you are trading and not worry so much about the results assuming you are not taking huge losses. The amount of money that you can make now is going to be relatively small compared to what you can make 5-10 years down the line if you continue to grow and get better as a trader.
2. Dealing with mistakes. All traders make mistakes so the most important thing is that you learn something valuable so that you do not make these same mistakes again in the future. Early on, i welcome trading mistakes if i feel that i can learn something valuable from it. I knew that those mistakes will save me money down the line because I will not make those same mistakes when my trading size is 5-10x bigger down the line. I will happily pay a few hundred now if i can learn from it and save thousands down the line.
3. Emotional discipline. I think only you can tell when you are not 100%. If you are feel that you are not 100%, you should consider taking a break from trading(a few days or however long it takes) if you feel that you need to mentality reset to absorb big trading losses.
4. Following your trading plan/rules. I think it's extremely important to follow your trading plan/rules. I rarely ever get frustrated or upset with the outcome of a trade if i followed my trading plan. For the first couple of years of trading i tried my very best to follow every trading rule that i had, but it's always hard and i always find myself deviating from my trading rules weekly or monthly. As a day trader the market changes too fast so we don't a lot time to react to what we are seeing so often times we react on impulses. Sometimes its right and sometimes it's wrong but i kept data on every deviation that i made the first 3-4 years of trading to see what the net results would be if i followed my rules compared to deviating. What i found was that those deviations cost me thousands of dollars early on. However, by year 4-5 years, my deviation actually outperformed my systematic management rules so i started to give myself more flexibility in how i manage my trades.
5. Writing trading rules and things learned down. I find this to be extremely helpful. In my trading room, i have a bunch of things written down and next to my computer so i can see them whenever i'm trading.
I hope that i have said something that's useful to you. Thank you for sharing and good luck trading next week.
10_bagger