Computers in a new age.

What do you think about this? Idea. This is my mid-term paper. Please leave a grade (i.e. A,B,C....), please be fair dont just give like a B-, explian why. Also, state whether you agree or disagree, comments.


Through out the twentieth century people strived to make our life easier. First it

was the creation of an automobile, then the airplane and last but not least was the

innovation of a computer. Computers influence our life in every aspect everything from

the way we obtain information to the way we communicate with other people. As

technology progresses and humans become more dependant on their “cold-blooded

buddy” a lot of questions arise. Do computers benefit human society or do they change its

progress in a negative aspect?

One of the most beneficiary attributes that technology provide us with, the quick

source of information. Within second it is possible to obtain information from one source,

and distribute such information to millions of people across the globe. Due to innovation

of internet, information can be posted online and be accessed by anyone with the

possession of a computer. Also it is possible to broadcast any information through live

television program which in result will provide thoughts and ideas to its viewers. Many

students and professors as well as professional writers would praise computers due to the

fact that computers allow them to, in the words of Turkle “revise text, rearrange

paragraphs and experiment with the tone and shape of an essay”. Such flexibility in

writing would allow “dedicated students” become “better writers”. As for me, I find it

quite easy to write essays or research papers on a computer, due to the fact that I am able

to have proper grammar as well as ability to revise sentences. Another innovation which

had made life of students much easier are calculators. Calculators provide students with

easier and quicker way of understanding and solving difficult equations. Many of such

calculators are also used in calculating parameters of buildings and the way to develop

them. In my experience it is quite impossible to solve all of the math problems by hand,

so in perspective I would rather have calculator guiding me through finding solution to

the equation.


Computers also have many different functions not concerning educational values,

such functions are more social. Many teens and adolescents use chat rooms and virtual

communities to make friends as well as experiment on their personality. Such

experimentations can “provide valuable spaces for identity play”, which is so crucial in

development of teens. Such virtual world provides teens with safe-heaven which excludes

dangers of the real world such as “ crime, terrorism, drugs, and AIDS”. Many teens as

well as adults use chat rooms to connect and meet with new people, others use chat rooms

to keep relationships with their present friends which might not reside near them. As for

me, I use online websites to exchange ideas, thoughts as well as to keep up relationship

with my distant friends. I am able to do such functions due to blogs, chat rooms, and

websites. In perspective, technology provides us with quicker and more accurate

information as well as a place were to meet new people or keep a relationship with your

present friends. The technology brings world closer to each other in a sense of

communication with each other from far away places.

Although many people praise technology others might disagree, due to the fact

that technology makes human thought more obsolete and the fact that it distances human

emotions from others. Virtual world can be good place as well as bad for humans, in the

aspect that it derives people from ”sharing their real feeling with other people”. It also

provides “illusion of companionship without the demands of friendship” for a person,

which might result in isolation of such person to the real world. Many teens which use

chat rooms for establishing who they are might not gain real life experience on how to

“express their real feelings with other people“. Other aspects which make human mind

obsolete are calculators which do the solving of complicated problem for the person.

Many students which know how to solve a problem through calculators become confused

and thus get the problem wrong when they are unable to use calculators. Such

circumstances happen to me a lot, if I am unable to use a calculator for solving difficult

equation, often I get the problem wrong or not do it at all. Other aspects which deprive

people from thinking is the fact that word processing can be manipulated in order to

sustain perfect essay, but if writing is involved it is much harder to conduct your thoughts

on paper, thus writing on paper makes a person think before writing. Word processing

takes away the thinking process before writing which results in less thought out process

of writing.

Many other aspects are taking away from people due to their use of computer one

of the most important ones is privacy. Electronic traces are left everywhere, blogging,

chatting online as well as web browsing leave traces which can be used to spy on the

people and their habits. I find it kind of bizarre as well as astonishing that other people

would like to obtain my information through out spying on my web browsing. Although it

makes sense in the end, corporations use such information in order to advertise products

to you, and government uses such information in order to detect any illegal activities which might bring harm to others. As technology becomes more advanced, many people

believe that it is possible that it will make human brain obsolete and detach such person

from the “real world” as well as deprive such person from privacy.

It is quiet impossible to speculate whether or not advancement of technology

would benefits human development. Although there is a lot of good and bad which

comes from technology, many people would still argue both sides of the problem.

Without technology, it is almost impossible to sustain the luxury of life which we live

and the habits which we had developed . In order to encourage positive development of

both technology and humans it is essential to understand how we are effected by

technology as well as directions in which future technology will take us.




http://topgunfinance.blogspot.com/
 
Ok here it is, I didn't finish it. It's too much to take in especially when your working for free. I usually charge $30 for something like this but this time only I'll say hey.... thanks for being a member.

Take care,
Joe


Ignore the one on top it had a few grammatical errors that I made, I fixed mine, now you have to fix your own.
 

Attachments

I think all writing should grab the reader in the frst paragraph. When I read the first paragraph of your paper, my eyes started to glaze over.

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzz....

Grade B-

nitro
Quote from rateesquad:

What do you think about this? Idea. This is my mid-term paper. Please leave a grade (i.e. A,B,C....), please be fair dont just give like a B-, explian why. Also, state whether you agree or disagree, comments.


Through out the twentieth century people strived to make our life easier. First it

was the creation of an automobile, then the airplane and last but not least was the

innovation of a computer. Computers influence our life in every aspect everything from

the way we obtain information to the way we communicate with other people. As

technology progresses and humans become more dependant on their “cold-blooded

buddy” a lot of questions arise. Do computers benefit human society or do they change its

progress in a negative aspect?

...
 
Guys, I am really appreciating all the help.
I wish they would teach us better writting in high school. Because i see so many different grammatical errors in my writting. It's quite funny that i was in AP classes and my average was 87 in english and still i am unable to write fine essays. Also my english teacher, in college is dilussional and by my opinion should not be allowed to teach in college.

thus, Do you guys know by any chance where i am going able to find good tutorial help for writting. Prepheraply one, which does not cost alot, or free.

Again, thank you, thank you very much:)
 
Yes, you definitely need to improve your grammar usage and sentence structure. You have some interesting points, but you express them awkwardly. As someone already noted, it's clunky. (As for spelling, that should not be an issue at all if you're writing on a computer.)

If you're serious about your writing you should read the classics: The Elements of Style by Strunk, for one. If you enjoy writing it's actually a very interesting book. And perhaps get something on essay writing.

And, of course, the old advice: Read, read, read; write, write, write. That's the best way to get better at it.

H
 
Back
Top