Quote from nazzdack:
1) Among your priorities; 2, 3, 4 & 5 are a by-product of 1.
2) Be more specific about your "issue" with risk management.
3) It'll probably be better to have a job AND THEN study for the CFA exams. It's the old "experience before education" adage.
4) Focus on trading and do not contemplate getting out of it nor quitting. Otherwise, you're not fully commited by imagining or creating a way out of it.
5) As long as the stock market feels "bearish", it'll be that much tougher to get a job.
6) Try to stay motivated with a sense of confidence instead of a sense of fear. Concentrate on the things that attracted you to trading in the first place.
Thanks everyone for their input. I do feel like my recent thoughts come from the fact that instead of progressing as a trader I feel I may actually be regressing. I feel that my biggest issue is that I'm starting to lack/lose the patience needed to wait for a setup and is being horribly compounded by the shear loses I've taken and the diminishing amount of capital I have available to trade. With the market how it's been I find myself in a position doing a lot of churning. I am starting to lack the confidence in my trades and find myself getting in and out of positions inside 20 cents.
My shop also has me on a pretty tight leash in terms of stop out limits for the day. The leash was put in place to force me to trade only the best setups. I see the benefit of this but also feel that the leash may be hindering my ability to make an actual trade. Hence, why I feel risk management is one of the main issues I need to handle. Prior to my dilemma I was trading comfortably with my position size and making decent trades ranging .5pt-1pt+ on stocks between $10-$60. I ended up losing 75% of my cap off a bad trade in January and have been in a death spiral since.
I've decided to take off until March and try and get my head straight. However, in the mean time there are issues that I'd like to settle before continuing.
The CFA idea is the product of me not coming from a top 25 school and mediocre GPA, not the greatest odds of getting into a top tier MBA school. I've been pressured by all those around me to quit trading. I've been able to ignore them for awhile, but the lack of progress and increasing pressure is making me second guess. And since I love the markets so much it seemed like a logical step to pursue the CFA and take up another position. I'm just not really sure what position I'd be able to take up.
There really is nothing that I'd rather do than trade. I definitely understand/have the traders mentality. The reason I feel that I'm so close is because I'm aware of my flaws and understand the mentality that is needed. 95% of this game is all mental. It should also be the easiest thing to change since it's the only thing you are in total control of.
My biggest fear is realizing 2,3, 6 months down the road and thousands of dollars later that maybe I can't make the right adjustments. Right now, I'm not even a profitable trader. I'm just someone who is consistently breaking even, even losing cap to commissions and fees. I see potential in myself only because I have been on my streaks where I've been able to put together a good week or two regardless of market conditions.
It's not like I'm going to turn it around tomorrow and I know that I will need to continue to invest time/money. It's just a matter of how much longer I can continue to tread water. I've lost more than my fair share to the market as a newbie, but it is not something that I am overly concerned about because it is something that I can make back by the end of the year if I can stabilize myself.
To trade, you must be committed to trade, it is a lifestyle to choose, but it is also not something that you should question. I feel that I'm on the very tip of the fence. To come so far, to realize so much, it's tough to bear the thought of coming up short, but sometimes it happens.