This discussion can be as complex or as simple as we want it to be, but I'd like to keep it simple because it really would be best discussed over a few beers (open invitation if ever you are in my neck of the woods).
If I buy a futures contract and then sell it at a lower price, I have suffered a monetary loss, there are no 2 ways about it. If I'm there for the thrills, I might be happy in the greater scheme of things because I got my adrenaline rush. As Ed Seykota said, everybody gets what they want from the markets. I have gained utility.
Sometimes people gain utility and are still unhappy. Many airlines hedged jet fuel at about $90/barrel, fearing it would go way over $100. They bought the right to jet fuel at $90/barrel, and now they are unhappy because they could buy it spot at $70 and change. They gained the utility they bought, and still perceive a realised loss because in hindsight, they could have realised a better deal.
We can define the market in strictly accounting terms, or in terms of perception, or a bit of both.