California City to Charge $300 to Call 911

So what?

I have been forced to pay $1.00 a month for 911 service for years. Over 20 years that comes to $240.

I have never called 911, so I have been forced to pay $240 for nothing.
 
Fresno, CA. Feb 22 (The dumbest city in America)

Police released a tape of a woman with slurred speech calling the 911 emergency line to report her cat was giving her a headache.

The woman was upset that her cat was playing with string and the noise was "doing her head in,".

The woman said the situation was an emergency because it had "been going on for two hours now."

(just kidding)
 
Dispatcher: 911 What is your emergency?
Caller: I heard what sounded like gunshots coming from the brown house on the corner.
Dispatcher: Do you have an address?
Caller: No, I have on a blouse and slacks, why?


Dispatcher: 911
Caller: Yeah, I'm having trouble breathing. I'm all out of breath. Darn....I think I'm going to pass out.
Dispatcher: Sir, where are you calling from?
Caller: I'm at a pay phone. North and Foster.
Dispatcher: ! Sir, an ambulance is on the way. Are you an asthmatic?
Caller: No
Dispatcher: What were you doing before you started having trouble breathing?
Caller: Running from the Police.

Dispatcher: 911 What is the nature of your emergency?
Caller: I'm trying to reach nine eleven but my phone doesn't have an eleven on it.
Dispatcher: This is nine eleven.
Caller: I thought you just said it was nine-one-one
Dispatcher: Yes, ma'am nine-one-one and nine-eleven are the same thing.
Caller: Honey, I may be old, but I'm not stupid.

Dispatcher: 911 What's the nature of your emergency?
Caller: My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart
Dispatcher: Is this her first child?
Caller: No, you idiot! This is her husband!
 
Back
Top