Teaching on the Topic of Marriage - Part I
Is Marriage Just a Sexist Institution? The Modern Revolt Against Marriage Doesn't Lead to Liberation — Quite the Opposite
Marriage is one of God's most precious creations given to humanity, given in creation itself. Marriage is central to any biblical theology pointing to the fact that it appears in the first two chapters of the book of Genesis and then becomes a metaphor for the relationship between Christ and his church at the very consummation of the age.
We also understand that a part of God's intention in giving us marriage is that marriage would become the very foundation of human culture and human civilization. Marriage becomes absolutely essential and Christians have understood it as the union of a man and a woman, essential that is to any civilization, essential to any culture. It's also very, very important, even absolutely fundamental to a Christian understanding and a Christian ethic.
Even those who are not married actually have their orientation to human society and culture through marriage one way or the other even as their own parents, according to the biblical plan, would have been married to each other. We understand that in a sinful world, there are deviancies from that norm, but we also understand that that just makes the gift of marriage as God gave it, as God defined it, all the more important.
Now, one of the ways to understand the modern age is that the rebellion of the age eventually had to arrive at a rebellion against marriage. It took some time because it defies not only law and convention, it defies biology. We'll discuss that just momentarily. But first, we need to recognize that when the modern age sets itself against marriage, it sets itself against civilization. It gets the very possibility of a healthy and productive, flourishing civilization. And this is therefore an injury not only to the civilization writ-large, but to every single member of that civilization.
But as you're looking at the modern rebellion against marriage, understand it didn't start with same-sex marriage, it actually started with a loosening of sexual morality in the 19th century. And then it took the shape of something that was rather unexpected, and that was the development of contraception. That is to say birth control that separated marriage in the marital conjugal act from procreation. Eventually procreation will be severed from sex, sex severed from procreation, and both of them effectively severed from marriage.
We also need to understand that the push for some kind of medically-predictable and dependable contraception or form of birth control was brought about by those who were indeed the prophets and prophetesses of modernity. They demanded the scientific investment in the eventual production of what would be an effort to allow women to be free from any kind of necessity of becoming pregnant and thus having a baby.
And of course was more than that. It was also, as we understand, became very, very central to the population control ideology, the idea that there are just too many human beings. We're going to be looking this week at the fact that that ideology certainly continues even against all evidence. But nonetheless, there was this first major issue, which was the liberalization of sexual morality. And then there came the rejection of that biological constraint by means of birth control.
The next big issue was the redefinition of marriage by making it conditional. The arrival of so-called no fault marriage that basically means people are married for so long as they want to be married. They need not be married any further. It's no longer a permanent institution upon which the entire civilization can depend on the permanency.
The next big shift was actually the shift towards what's called same-sex marriage. Christians understand that there actually, in God's view, according to the very structure of creation, is no such thing as same sex marriage. But we do understand it is a legal and a political reality where you have legislatures, and even more often, courts that have put something called same-sex marriage in place on par with marriage is the union of a man and a woman.
So we have two men being married, we have two women being married, at least according to the law and according to the courts. But what we need to note is that that was followed in such short order by another development and that is the subversion of gender itself. Now, we're talking about headlines that are as current as just say the last several days of USA Today.
Now, here's something else to think about as Christians consider the culture. For most of its relatively brief history, USA Today, published by the Gannett Company, has been something like a news digest.
There are reporters working for the paper, especially in its sports section, its news section, there are culture writers, it does produce material, but the material tends to be very short and intended for a very general audience. It was often criticized as McPaper when it first appeared a generation ago.
But USA Today has actually turned itself into an engine of the moral revolution and the gender revolution. It's hard to imagine a single major media source that is so insistent, virtually daily, on pushing the LGBTQ revolution and the ideologies behind it.
Now, what would be the central obstacle to that revolution? The central obstacle is marriage so that modern rebellion against marriage now reaches a new stage. USA Today recently ran a couple of articles. One of them was by Sara Moniuszko. It was entitled, "Why Marriage Is Still a Sexist Institution, And What We Can Do About It."
Now, reporters are always responsible for the headlines of their stories, but this one actually is reflected in the writing of the story itself. But notice the audacity of it, why marriage is still a sexist institution. In other words, there's a moral verdict against marriage, it's inherently. But then the promise of the fact that we can do something and what we can do about it.
The article begins taking us to the heart of the COVID-19 pandemic, which we are told cast a shadow over weddings. "It shone a light on a major issue with the institution of marriage."
Here's the next paragraph: "While marriage is a joyous milestone in many people's lives, experts say there is no denying the institution has a history of sexism that in many cases can still be felt today. That doesn't mean forward-thinking, young people need to shun marriage, though some are doing just that. The experts agree awareness is an important first step towards progress."
There's so much in just a few words there. First of all, I want to look at the end, the last phrase, "The experts agree awareness is an important first step toward progress." What in the world is an expert in this category? Who are these experts? Well, she does go on and cite some people, but the point is now we are being told sociologically of two new moral authorities.
First of all, the experts on marriage, they're very progressive-thinkers mentioned in this article. And then speaking of progressive "forward-thinking, young people" who we are told must be, of course, forward-thinking and thus must be suspicious of marriage. The article goes on to cite Jocelyn Olcott, the Director of Gender, Sexuality, and Feminist Studies at Duke University.
The article says that she argues that we have made strides in recent years, but as the paper says, "Marriage is sexist. History is still seen in how heterosexual couples divide up household labor and childhood care responsibilities. That became especially evident in the pandemic when many women abandoned their jobs in order to care for and homeschool kids."
Olcott said, and I quote, "COVID really was like a black light on how precarious that progress was because as soon as the crisis hit, that maldistribution reasserted itself." Now let's think as Christians. Let's think biblically as best as we can. Is there a distinction between men and women that is clear in creation, clear in scripture? Absolutely, yes. Is there a difference in the role of men and women in marriage or the husband and the wife? Absolutely, yes. Likewise of the father and the mother, there's a clear distinction.
Can that distinction become distorted by human sin? Of course, it can. It can be exaggerated outside of its biblical context. It can be misused or even abused. But in reality, this is an article that is suggesting that the experts say, "The problem is with the maldistribution itself." But here's where we need to note something. Just think about a newborn baby. That newborn baby requires a very maldistributed set of responsibilities or simply things a mother can do, must do, will do that a father can't do and won't do.
Now, again, sin can enter in and all this can be distorted, but the fact is that God has created us in such a way that biology makes very clear there is in some sense, a maldistribution. Now, the feminist came along in, especially the 20th century, and argued that the idea that women would have their primary attention in the domestic sphere and men in the external sphere, historians, especially writing from the left, have argued that that was a new thing.
Well, it did take a new form because when you had the industrial revolution, you had men beginning to work in such work context as factories. You couldn't have men working in factories until you had the rise of factories. And yes, there was something like the rise of a cult of domesticity even when it came to the presentation of wives and mothers in the home. Even when you look at television advertisements, especially the 1950s, '60s, and even into the '70s, yes, you had a lot of stereotypes just look at the television programs.
But here's the thing, those stereotypes weren't just stereotypes. They actually were at least a representation of what was considered normal life. And that's what really didn't change from, say, the 18th to the 19th, to the 20th century. There has always been, throughout human history, what USA Today criticizes as a maldistribution of responsibilities when it comes to domestic responsibilities between men and women, between husbands and wives.
And the fact is that nature itself has made that rather mandatory. Now, I've made clear as often as I can that sin can distort that, but the reality is still there. And you'll notice this article basically argues against that reality, not just basically, straightforwardly. We're told, "Marriage before the 1970s was legally constructed as a sexist institution." That's according to Juliet A. Williams, professor at UCLA in the Department of Gender Studies.
Now, this is accurate in many ways, this part of the article that says there's been a revolution in marital law when it comes to, say, the legal recognition of women as economic and political agents, not only able to vote, but also able to own property, there's been a massive change there. But it is still the case as this professor that on average women who are married are financially better off than unmarried women.
Now, the thing is that's presented as if it is evidence of a problem. This is what Christians understand. That's actually evidence of the fact that when creation and God's word are honored, we actually have human flourishing. We have economic success. We have indeed greater financial security. What this newspaper sees as lingering sexism is actually not just a hint. It's just prima facie evidence of the fact that marriage was intended to work just this way.
The article gets very straightforward when the same professor is quoted as saying that we "live in a society where women are still incentivized to tie their fortunes to men, as opposed to being independent from them." Now, I guess that's what they teach in the Department of Gender Studies at UCLA. No real surprise there. But you'll notice however, that women aren't buying the hypothesis. The fact is that, yes, you not only have a society that incentivizes marriage with a man and a woman coming together in marriage, but there is a natural understanding, just looking at the evidence, that those who are married fare better financially than those who do not.
The argument here is that the society should somehow seek to undo the incentive for not only women, but for men to get married.
The article then cites a lecture on women's studies, gender and sexuality at Harvard University, who says that there are "a number of ways we're told in which sexism is present in the institution of marriage today for heterosexual couples, including 'The assumption and societal pressure that women and any subsequent children have the surname of the husband.'"
Is that just a representation of patriarchy? Well, certainly it hearkens back to a patriarchal age, but the fact is, it also leads to cultural and civilizational sanity so that people know who a family is. And when you're looking at the reality of a patrilineal family, you're looking at the fact that most people are going to continue to think that way and not just for historical reasons.
One of the chief responsibilities of any civilization is to create a context in which men have to take financial and other responsibility for their own offspring. One of the ways in society and in human history where that has been done is by making certain that fathers give their surname to their children in order to make clear he is responsible for them.
USA Today is looking for a big revolution. Juliet Williams of UCLA quoted in the article already is quoted again as saying, "I think it's interesting how many younger people are just opting out of marriage and don't see it as relevant to their happiness." Instead, we're told she suggests that there are changes that need to be made on both a societal and individual level. "The goal is more thoughtfulness around the consequences of giving weddings and marriage a pass as we try to untangle all the knots that continue to constrain women and men and their full flourishing, and that maintain the overall inequality of women compared to men."
Now, when it comes to that maldistribution within the household, the article says, "Williams recognizes that it's difficult to push back against division of labor in the household, but says it can be helpful to start by recognizing how much stigma there is against women who don't love taking care of the kids, for example."
Now, let's just back off for a moment. Let's just assume that we're having a conversation in which at least some mother says she really doesn't like taking care of her children. I just ask you to find the civilization in which there's not going to be a negative response to that. But there's progress on this front because I can imagine very few circumstances in which a man, a husband, a father can say he finds no joy in taking care of his children. I can see very little chance that in our day, especially amongst Christians, there's not going to be a very negative judgment made against that man for making that statement of irresponsibility.
Interestingly, Professor William says, "We don't want to deny that there's agency at play and people's replicating traditional division of labor in the household. But I also think we want to be honest that our desires are conditioned by the incredibly fierce judgment and condemnation that even in 2021 bears down on anybody who's, in any way, gender-nonconforming."
Well, there's gender non-conforming, but notice something else. She basically says that she doesn't want to deny, "There's agency at play." What does that mean? It means she actually can't deny with intellectual honesty the fact that an incredible number of women actually want marriage. the way traditional marriage is defined. We're told that the wedding ceremony is being redefined by some who are skipping white dresses, which Professor Williams says, "historically were meant to symbolize virginity." That's a quote, and yes, that whiteness was indeed to symbolize virginity. And it's very morally-telling that even many brides who certainly can make no claim to virginity still want to wear a white dress so at least when they dress up for their wedding, they act as if it were so.