ABOUT F-I-L-M
It amazes me how much money people are making in those days. FILM (Finance, IT, Legal, Medical) has long been regarded as the four most dominant career paths there are in term of maximum income potential.
In New York, if you want to be top tier, 100K a year is hardly sufficient as a minimum requirement. Went out eating with a friend who I haven't seen since high school, his friend came out of Cornell (a very very good school) and is now making 55K a year with a 80% bonus as an investment banker! Throw in the sign in bonus that is 100K right out of college, first year, without any experience. Now add an MBA, and an associate position, 200-300K is right there. Granted, those people have to work as if they are prisoners, as the guy stays up until 3AM many days and haven't had a free weekend in a while, but this is the age to throw yourself on the line and fight it out for supremacy, not to mention it would be a great way to forget unpleasant personal issues.
Any law school or medical school graduate are probably looking at 100K as a minimum wage. 150K - 200K are almost inevitable. Most IT guys work for 60-80K within first 2 years of graduation, and more experienced ones get 80-120K easy. If they choose to go consulting, 200K is certainly within the reach. While the bursted tech bubble put some serious dent into those numbers, it is still very very respectable.
All that money, and we are not even talking management positions yet. 401K plans, full benefits, vacation pays, loads of perks, ZERO RISK.
In comparison, in a firm with 500 traders, based on what I have been told, probably less than 15% of the traders are making more than 100K a year, less than 8% are making more than 200K a year. As I am a month away from being 22, without a degree, and up just 48K YTD, even less when you throw in the 94% payout, the lack of benefits, it is hard not to feel like an underdog. Although a true warrior's mental strength is fully tested only when the pressure is on, the game is on the line, the odds are stacked against him, and I hope this will bring the best out of me to not only finish the year strong but also take my game to the next level.
I have worked for big name companies before, I know what the corporate ladder is like. I also know that as a day trader, it is like hit and run, gorrilla warfare, it is a tough battle every day, and the biggest piece of the pie will forever be in the hand of people with ivy league degrees working at the trading desk of the biggest insitutions. I like being an Robinhood, but he was an underdog.
What are the biggest attractions of being a day trader? Freedom? Being my own boss? Perhaps, but I realized something this weekend, the biggest attraction of being a day trader is to make more money than I am capable of in any other job I am qualified for. To AVOID direct competition with the Ivy Leaguers, to find a battle ground where the rules are the survival of the fittest.
It is an unpleasant feeling, because in reality, I am escaping from the challenge of climbing big name firm's ladders and contending for management positions. I am avoiding the office politics, backstabbing games, and "who is got the biggest degree" blahs.
I remembered walking on Wall Street everyday in clean and comfortable casuals, and watch everyone around me in suits and ties, it was a funny feeling. While I consider the no dress-code rule at my firm a perk, I couldn't help but to feel that while I am working on Wall Street, in reality I may as well be doing this on an island, because I am not one of them.
I am an underdog, a small potato day trader.
Yet something makes me believe that I will find my own road to victory, that there will be a day I can be top tier, to stand on my own feet at a party of doctors, lawyers, bankers, consultants, knowing that I am just as good when it comes to making big bucks.
ABOUT TRADING
It is a dog eat dog world on Wall Street, and I want to be the bigger dog. There are many many things I have to do. My game is not pure yet, I still have way too many flaws when it comes to executions. When I can hit every single shot that I am supposed to make, like the ones on Thursday/Friday, I know it will be just a matter of bringing up sizes. Cover half, HOLD the other half as long as I am still in the money.
I am also missing one more bread and butter setup. I have a strong top-down game (futures/sector/stock), I am far from perfecting it, but I already feel it is like fighting someone with one hand, I am missing a bottom-up approach, whether it is a go-to stock that I trade every day, a news play, a particular daily set-up, something that starts from the stock instead of the futures.
When top-down is joined by bottom-up, my game will be complete, it will be pure. Speak of being pure, there are still some nervousness and anxieties off the open especially if I am down, in my heart, it feels like many ripples across a lake surface that is smooth as glass. My execution clearly suffers when I am in any kind of deficit. Rushed shots, trading during the dead zone, not being able to hold with confidence because of the fear factor that allows me to cut losses too fast.
I am considering a certain mind ritual I need to perform before the game starts everyday, I want to achieve a true pure mind, clean as a spotless piece of paper, when I trade, pure as a saint, a trader saint. That is my goal for rest of this month, I need to further understand my emotional behaviors when I trade, and control it, suppress it . . .
Once I can achieve that, I will finally be able to remove that underdog image.
