Alabama teacher disciplined for giving math test about guns, gangs, drugs and ‘ho’s’
- Thread starter Banjo
- Start date
It would be okay to do this in Chicago.
That's the L.A. Math Test. She should be in trouble, she needed to give the Alabama Math Test...
1) Bubba has 18 cans of Busch Lite in the back of his pickup. Bubba can drink 3 cans of beer per hour without swerving off the road. If he has to drive 92 miles from Montgomery to Birmingham to plant a bomb at a church, and he sticks to the the 50 miles per hour speed limit, how many beers will Bubba have left over after his mission, assuming he doesn't run into a ditch and blow himself up?
2) Krystal's uncle got her pregnant again and she needs an abortion. The nearest clinic in-state is 5 and a half hours away, while a flight to Florida only costs $129. How many pairs of flip-flops will $129 buy?
3) Shane has 7 cars up on blocks. Three of them have no wheels. Two of those are Japanese cars. If you can run each wheel missing one lugnut, how many cars can he get rolling by taking lugnuts off the ones with wheels?
4) There are 27 pig's feet in each jar. Each pig's foot costs $.79 How many food stamps does Tammy need to buy the whole jar?
5) Tucker and Ryan are going coon hunting. Ryan misses the shot 75% of the time while Tucker misses only 40%. If Ryan and tucker go in halfsies on a box of .22 how many coons can they catch under a new moon?
6) Johnny Boy is re-painting his truck. Each can of grey primer costs $4.75. John Boy only has $17. Which body panel should John Boy randomly paint?
7) The Country Buffet is open until 9pm. Shana can eat 1.5 pounds of food per hour, while Sue can eat 2.25 pounds per hour. The buffet stops serving corn dogs at 7pm. What time should they arrive so they can eat 10lbs of food each, and still be served a corn dog?
8) Supreme Court Justice Roy Moore had the 10 commandments placed in the courthouse. The monument was not removed from the building until 2004. How many years will America be punished by God for this act?
9) Skeeter lost 3 fingers to a catfish. What are the odds he can no longer give the finger to every black guy he passes in his car?
10) Shelly has 3 weeks until Jason gets out of lockup. If she has a pile of 19 dirty dishes, 12 dirty cups, 3 dirty pots, and a diaper hamper to empty, how many items must she deal with each day on average, in order to avoid a beating?
(The last one is a trick, because there's no way in hell she's avoiding a beating after sleeping with the gas attendant with the lazy eye.)
1) Bubba has 18 cans of Busch Lite in the back of his pickup. Bubba can drink 3 cans of beer per hour without swerving off the road. If he has to drive 92 miles from Montgomery to Birmingham to plant a bomb at a church, and he sticks to the the 50 miles per hour speed limit, how many beers will Bubba have left over after his mission, assuming he doesn't run into a ditch and blow himself up?
2) Krystal's uncle got her pregnant again and she needs an abortion. The nearest clinic in-state is 5 and a half hours away, while a flight to Florida only costs $129. How many pairs of flip-flops will $129 buy?
3) Shane has 7 cars up on blocks. Three of them have no wheels. Two of those are Japanese cars. If you can run each wheel missing one lugnut, how many cars can he get rolling by taking lugnuts off the ones with wheels?
4) There are 27 pig's feet in each jar. Each pig's foot costs $.79 How many food stamps does Tammy need to buy the whole jar?
5) Tucker and Ryan are going coon hunting. Ryan misses the shot 75% of the time while Tucker misses only 40%. If Ryan and tucker go in halfsies on a box of .22 how many coons can they catch under a new moon?
6) Johnny Boy is re-painting his truck. Each can of grey primer costs $4.75. John Boy only has $17. Which body panel should John Boy randomly paint?
7) The Country Buffet is open until 9pm. Shana can eat 1.5 pounds of food per hour, while Sue can eat 2.25 pounds per hour. The buffet stops serving corn dogs at 7pm. What time should they arrive so they can eat 10lbs of food each, and still be served a corn dog?
8) Supreme Court Justice Roy Moore had the 10 commandments placed in the courthouse. The monument was not removed from the building until 2004. How many years will America be punished by God for this act?
9) Skeeter lost 3 fingers to a catfish. What are the odds he can no longer give the finger to every black guy he passes in his car?
10) Shelly has 3 weeks until Jason gets out of lockup. If she has a pile of 19 dirty dishes, 12 dirty cups, 3 dirty pots, and a diaper hamper to empty, how many items must she deal with each day on average, in order to avoid a beating?
(The last one is a trick, because there's no way in hell she's avoiding a beating after sleeping with the gas attendant with the lazy eye.)
LMAO!