A Translation Guide to Asset Manager-Speak

D

dealmaker

A Translation Guide to Asset Manager-Speak

  • Now is a good entry point = Sorry, we are in a drawdown
  • We have a high Sharpe ratio = We don’t make much money
  • We have never lost money = We have never made money
  • We have a great backtest = We are going to lose money after we take your money
  • We have a proprietary sourcing approach = We invest in whatever our hedge fund friends do
  • We are not in crowded positions = We missed all the best-performing stocks
  • We are not correlated = We are underperforming while the market keeps going up
  • We invest in unique uncorrelated assets = We have an illiquid portfolio which can’t be valued and will suspend soon
  • We are soft-closing the fund = We want to raise as much money as we can right now
  • We are hard-closing the fund = We are definitely open for you
  • We are not responsible for the bad track record at our prior firm = We lost money but are blaming all our ex-colleagues
  • We have a bottom-up approach = We have no idea what markets are going to do
  • We have a top-down process = We think we know what markets will do but really who does?
  • The markets had a temporary mark-to-market loss = Our fundamental analysis was wrong and we don’t know why we lost money
  • We don’t believe in stop-loss limits = We have no risk management
 
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dealmaker said:
A Translation Guide to Asset Manager-Speak

  • Now is a good entry point = Sorry, we are in a drawdown
  • We have a high Sharpe ratio = We don’t make much money
  • We have never lost money = We have never made money
  • We have a great backtest = We are going to lose money after we take your money
  • We have a proprietary sourcing approach = We invest in whatever our hedge fund friends do
  • We are not in crowded positions = We missed all the best-performing stocks
  • We are not correlated = We are underperforming while the market keeps going up
  • We invest in unique uncorrelated assets = We have an illiquid portfolio which can’t be valued and will suspend soon
  • We are soft-closing the fund = We want to raise as much money as we can right now
  • We are hard-closing the fund = We are definitely open for you
  • We are not responsible for the bad track record at our prior firm = We lost money but are blaming all our ex-colleagues
  • We have a bottom-up approach = We have no idea what markets are going to do
  • We have a top-down process = We think we know what markets will do but really who does?
  • The markets had a temporary mark-to-market loss = Our fundamental analysis was wrong and we don’t know why we lost money
  • We don’t believe in stop-loss limits = We have no risk management
More...

  • We provide superior returns - When this strategy goes South, we will as well.
 
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