To the original situation regarding emotional upset.
I feel that this is a very common situation that one must go through and graduate from as douglas remarks and always remember "my trading losses do not diminish me as a person" now at the time you may well feel otherwise but we all ? go through those emotional states.
You show strength to state your feelings and concerns now you must develop and evolve from that. Its fear keeping you back and you already recognise this, which is the first step perhaps to move on from it. I suggest you look yourself in the mirror and state that "I am professional and will trade the market risk opportunity according to my trading plan always."
this is your mantra keeping stating it and you will be just that, write it up and put it on the screen infront of you
put your positions on and do just that, if you take a normal trading loss which is ok. then pat yourself on the back for being professional and being disciplined. Youve won half the battle, that is, with yourself. Keep a detailed journal of your trades and review after the event how things have gone as a business. continue to look at methods and markets as again it can take a fair while finding the appropiate one to use.
Learn to be a trader.
It doesn't happen within 3 weeks, usually years when you are trying to figure it and yourself out.
Just remember as douglas may agree on "The edge is something that cannot be written down as it is non-physical , The Edge Is You."
Best wishes to you.