Man, now I really have to go and jump of that bridge...
For the last 14 months you lost like -50K, and the monthly returns are all over the place, showing absolute randomness. Possible reasons:
1. You used to have a profitable system, but the market changed and you couldn't adapt to it. Problem: right now you don't have a profitable system, and results are completely random. You haven't realized this and still live in the memory of old winning days.
2. Maybe one of your systems (I think you have 4) is actually profitable and in months when the circumstances are perfect for it, it makes good money, but the other bad systems even this good system's result out. Problem: You are unable to filter out which system is working and which one should be abandoned.
3. More systems of yours are actually profitable, but you suck at money management. Problem: Your losers are bigger than your winners. Also position sizing. Maybe revenge trading.
4. You do have profitable systems, but you are breaking your rules. Problem: Not being able to follow rules.
5. Some combination of the above. Problem: Freaking hard to figure it out and you ain't listening to good advice.
I don't think this is going to change in the long run unless you sit down and analyze the trades and figure out which one of the above problems applies and you are able to improve on it...
Good luck with that, and don't forget LUCK is a four letter word. No charge for the analysis and have a more profitable new year! Also you should cut back on size until you have at least 3 consecutive profitable months...