15 consecutive profitable trades
- Thread starter mrmarket
- Start date
It just came out that Mr. Market nixed the deal... It's all over the newswires!!! That damn Mr. Market!!! Check this out...
(from the newswire) CEO Ben Dover said today "That Mr. Market is a damn liar and can't be trusted for shit".
You hear that Mr. Market!!! You're a damn LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That's OK though, I'm still trying to contact Mr. Jablowmie because I think Shill has a really good team over there and they're going to make a lot of money.
This reporter, just got off the phone with Haywood. The deal is for real. Stunning development! This will change the image of Wall Street forever.
Seems like only yesterday that ENE and WCOM and Arthur Anderson stories were of significance. Now we have something that will be remembered in the anals of history forever.
Mr. Dover (Ben) also was readily accessible. He bent over backward in his efforts to agree to meet with members of the financial reporting troops from around the globe.
The enthusiasm for this deal is nothing short of astonishing. A financial correspondent from CNBC had just emailed her opinion to her counterpart at Bloomberg TV in an unprecedented show of cooperation between two professional and personally competitive MrMarket followers. While their actual identities cannot be disclosed (protection of confidential sources was promised until todays joint press conference, which will be a smoking affair if ever there was one), a neutral reporter from the Bogota Times with solid government contacts on both sides of the Caribbean was summoned by President Bush to address a joint session of Congress. Said Mr. Bush, "this will sure as shit restore confidence in our free market system and NAFTA". The reporter, at this time known only as "Alice" is said to have intimate knowledge of the mastermind behind the deal.
Shill Securities, once considered a stodgy old wirehouse whose best years were long considered well behind them, their hallways covered with cobwebs and dust, has re-emerged with this deal and will forever be known as the House that MEAT and CHEESE built.
No longer will cobwebs clutter the art deco hallways of the once sleepy Shill Securities building on Wall Street. Now, thanks to the enormous acquisition of MrMarket and their subsidiary enterprises (MEAT and CHEESE), there will never be jokes about cobwebs again growing where it is expected that a vibrant new strain of mold and botulism will now grace the very same hallways.
The main thrust of the merger, brought about by the visionary MrMarket himself, a former movie star who's startling portrayal as Chewbacca the Wookie in the Star Wars epics brought him fame and fortune and the respect of his peers for insisting on declining the use of any makeup or costumes in a series of motion pictures in which special effects reigned. It was this "sticking to his guns" attitude that separated him from the crowd. And earned him the the admiration of all of Hollywood.
Capitalizing on his showbusiness success, MrMarket soon turned to his real love. Buy and hold investing. In an unprecedented streak of 15 consecutive realized winning trades, and his firm commitment to keep his unrealized losses for as long as they would ever take, he quickly gained the reputation of a man who never showed a loss.
In comments from representatives of Shill, Ben Dover, and Haywood Jablowme, it is clear that not only will this Super Merger result in a complete shakeout of lesser firms and the leaning of Wall Street overall, but hints abound that with MrMarket's newly energized public profile, he will not limit himself to the often dull routine of trading. "After all" said an un-named spokesperson for MrMarket, as effective as making slightly less than one trade a month may be, this as yet unidentified source has confirmed that in reality, there is room in MrMarkets busy schedule to star in what has been secretly in rehearsal for several months.....a new Broadway Musical in which MrMarket brings his own unique talents to a revival of the 1960's musical phenomenon, Hair, which will be debuting next Friday evening, May 23rd with several new tunes and a modified new title. The stage extravaganza, FUR is expected to break boxoffice records for any previous New York stage production in terms of gross.
In a one word "off the record" comment, as MrMarket was spotted by a reporter from the New York Times hopping a bus on 42nd Street, when asked what his objectives were in launching both a Broadway Musical and a Wall Street merger almost simultaneously, MrMarket responded with that single work "GROSS".
The public and the government and Fed chairman Alan Greenspan all are in agreement according to quickly scrambled polls made as soon as word leaked about these astonishing developments.
It's all about GROSS! That is the consensus. Yet there seems to be a very small minority that has expressed a somewhat different opinion. Some homeless people who happened to have been polled seemed to believe that the whole episode was a "bit hairy". Meanwhile rodents of every denomination throughout the five boroughs seemed to be excited about the big "stink" and have been particularly excited about the MEET and CHEESE aspects of the deal.
Maria Fart-Aroma has said she will be trying to get MrMarket to appear on her segment right after the market closes today. Meanwhile, Airforce One is winging it's way as this reporter writes this fast breaking story.
Stay tuned. Shill Securities has been halted. It looks like this can really be a market moving event. Saddam, you are old news!
UPDATE 1-Shill Securities suspends Mr. Market deal
May 14, 2003 4:24:00 PM ET
Reuters: New York
Mr. Market, president and CEO of (MEAT) and (CHEES) has called off the proposed buyout of his companies by Shill Securities, inc ( SHILL). He released this announcement though his personal Spokeswoman, Ms. Alice Vulva. When asked to comment, Alice would only say Mr. Market was upset at certain content in the news release. When pressed further for comment, Alice mentioned she enjoys long walks on the beach, Camping and Shaving Mr. Markets back.
ABOUT Shill Securities: Shill is the foremost provider of false promises, self promotion and sly efforts to attract unwitting investors and traders alike by posting rates and other promises that will never be achieved.
Mr. Market is an acclaimed stock market analyst who has now made 15 consecutive profitable trades dating back to 1973.
Shill CEO, Ben Dover also refused to comment and instead asked that everyone contact contact Haywood Jablowmie, VP of Public Relations or his assistant, Ms. Wilma Dickfit.
According to unnamed sources Mr. Market was furious at âwhite liesâ being attributed to his name in the initial press release.
May 14, 2003 4:24:00 PM ET
Reuters: New York
Mr. Market, president and CEO of (MEAT) and (CHEES) has called off the proposed buyout of his companies by Shill Securities, inc ( SHILL). He released this announcement though his personal Spokeswoman, Ms. Alice Vulva. When asked to comment, Alice would only say Mr. Market was upset at certain content in the news release. When pressed further for comment, Alice mentioned she enjoys long walks on the beach, Camping and Shaving Mr. Markets back.
ABOUT Shill Securities: Shill is the foremost provider of false promises, self promotion and sly efforts to attract unwitting investors and traders alike by posting rates and other promises that will never be achieved.
Mr. Market is an acclaimed stock market analyst who has now made 15 consecutive profitable trades dating back to 1973.
Shill CEO, Ben Dover also refused to comment and instead asked that everyone contact contact Haywood Jablowmie, VP of Public Relations or his assistant, Ms. Wilma Dickfit.
According to unnamed sources Mr. Market was furious at âwhite liesâ being attributed to his name in the initial press release.
Mr. Mockit, are you still here? Glad you are entertaining the troops! I have been busy and have not been posting for while but it's nice to see there still is someone making a fool of himself on a consistent basis.
How's your benchpress doing? I got mine to 365 last week, 2.09 times my body weight
How's your benchpress doing? I got mine to 365 last week, 2.09 times my body weight
Nice post ... you exhibit your stupidity quite well. You're right ... I'm "dumb" ... I struggled to get 3 college degrees ... I struggled in the corporate world for 15 years ... and then left to trade ... and I continue to struggle after 7+ years of trading ... I struggle living here on an island enjoying the warmth and sun ... I struggle doing what I want to do each and every day ...
oh yeah, given your ID of "poundtherock" I can only say you're seemingly dumber than a rock
ROFLMAO!
UPDATE 1-Shill Securities suspends Mr. Market deal
May 14, 2003 4:24:00 PM ET
Reuters: New York
Mr. Market, president and CEO of (MEAT) and (CHEES) has called off the proposed buyout of his companies by Shill Securities, inc ( SHILL). He released this announcement though his personal Spokeswoman, Ms. Alice Vulva. When asked to comment, Alice would only say Mr. Market was upset at certain content in the news release. When pressed further for comment, Alice mentioned she enjoys long walks on the beach, Camping and Shaving Mr. Markets back.
ABOUT Shill Securities: Shill is the foremost provider of false promises, self promotion and sly efforts to attract unwitting investors and traders alike by posting rates and other promises that will never be achieved.
Mr. Market is an acclaimed stock market analyst who has now made 15 consecutive profitable trades dating back to 1973.
Shill CEO, Ben Dover also refused to comment and instead asked that everyone contact contact Haywood Jablowmie, VP of Public Relations or his assistant, Ms. Wilma Dickfit.
According to unnamed sources Mr. Market was furious at âwhite liesâ being attributed to his name in the initial press release.
IM depressed
:eek:
May 14, 2003 4:24:00 PM ET
Reuters: New York
Mr. Market, president and CEO of (MEAT) and (CHEES) has called off the proposed buyout of his companies by Shill Securities, inc ( SHILL). He released this announcement though his personal Spokeswoman, Ms. Alice Vulva. When asked to comment, Alice would only say Mr. Market was upset at certain content in the news release. When pressed further for comment, Alice mentioned she enjoys long walks on the beach, Camping and Shaving Mr. Markets back.
ABOUT Shill Securities: Shill is the foremost provider of false promises, self promotion and sly efforts to attract unwitting investors and traders alike by posting rates and other promises that will never be achieved.
Mr. Market is an acclaimed stock market analyst who has now made 15 consecutive profitable trades dating back to 1973.
Shill CEO, Ben Dover also refused to comment and instead asked that everyone contact contact Haywood Jablowmie, VP of Public Relations or his assistant, Ms. Wilma Dickfit.
According to unnamed sources Mr. Market was furious at âwhite liesâ being attributed to his name in the initial press release.
IM depressed
:eek:Thanks for the bio Sisyphus.