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Elizah was getting tired of the limp problems Rastus was having in the bedroom dept.... She said " Rastus, your gonna have to go see the doctor and get your problem sorted out, you as no good to me like that " Reluctantly, Rastus duly trots off to see the quack..... He arrives back home...

My dream is to have an airship to travel the world. Modern airships can lift 66 tonnes with precision. One could cruise the world flying sightseers, surveying and heavy lifting jobs too.

Clean water is so important whether you live in a 3rd world desert or a big city. They put so much chlorine in the water here you can taste it. As everyone knows chlorine is highly poisonous. To compound the problem they put aluminium sulphate into the water too to make it look clear. This...

I think he wanted to realize a childhood dream of playing choo choos when he bought that railroad. Probably making money with it too.

Not sure OddTrader has quite got the joke ? But I could be wrong.

I suppose it was a Democrat who painted above the door of the reptile house in their local zoo - Republican House

One day, this guy is sitting in this bar taking his merry time. All of a sudden he's startled by three men with republican badges giving cheers, saying, "Fifteen! Fifteen!" He just ignores them and continues to drink. About 5 minutes later, the men again say, "Fifteen! Fifteen!" At this, the...

They have the money to hire the top maths/science graduates. PHDs from top Unis, so they are off to a flying start. Then you never hear how they have done. Is that young guy flipping Big Macs on the corner a burnt out PHD from a big institution ? Noone knows or cares, I suppose. The markets can...

Are you guys checking out social media ? Hillary sent me this

Never heard of Kasich, could be a handicap.

That " Arkansas list " is how our betting companies over here in the UK view the US Presidential race. OK so what are some Europeans doing ? Well often it helps to stand back a bit and view the field of runners. A clearer view just might be from a distance. I did try and find similar betting US...

I would shake the bastards up if I were but sadly not to be.

Yep I think the 2 Parties are usually right here but now I am not so sure. People tire of the Clintons and Bushes hogging it to themselves. They do have the money though. Here in the UK the unthinkable happened and a whacko old style communist from Cold War days has been elected leader of the...

I think it largely comes down to ..............money. Any candidate that hasn't got millions to spend ( bribe ) has no chance. Perhaps someone can find the stats on previous elections' war chests ? I expect the bigger one won usually :(

Fair point about faraway betting across the pond. Please someone put up the US betting then. It should be on the net somewhere. Because the betting in the actual country is so split locally the picture might be a bit different. And where there is difference, there is money to be made. I expect...

Hillary is still well ahead on the market bets for the next USA President. She has had a lot of experience in the corridors of power but there are some poor marks for honesty ( husband Bill has been caught out lying too ). But when you look at the other hopefuls I suppose that's the best the US...

The US is very competitive and likes coming top. Well doesn't sound too bad until you realize what the league tables were :- 1. Peeing in the hotel pool. 2. Stealing items from the hotel such as towels. tut tut

Q: What are the three biggest tragedies in a man's life? A: Life sucks, job sucks, and the wife doesn't.

Was it profitable ?

Got it - thanks