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Obviously A vacationer telephones a seaside hotel to ask where it was. “It’s only a stone’s throw from the beach,” he was told. “How will I recognize it?” asked the man. “Well, it’s the one with all the broken windows...” came the reply. :) :) :)

Corporate Life #31 A magazine recently ran a "Dilbert Quotes" contest. They were looking for people to submit quotes from their real-life Dilbert-type managers. These were voted the top ten quotes in corporate America: "As of tomorrow, employees will only be able to access the building...

Divorce? A married couple is driving along a highway doing a steady 40 miles per hour. The wife is behind the wheel. Her husband suddenly looks across at her and speaks in a clear voice. "I know we've been married for twenty years, but I want a divorce." The wife says nothing, Keeps looking...

The Great Flydini http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z2kKuPVJJjI&search=flydini :) :) :)

2008 Summer Olympics Presidente Vincente Fox just announced that Mexico will not participate in the 2008 Summer Olympics. It seems that everyone who could run, jump, or swim...has already left the country. :) :) :)

Amusing metaphors from student essays Every year, English teachers from across the country can submit their collections of actual analogies and metaphors found in high school essays. These excerpts are published each year to the amusement of teachers across the country. Here are last year's...

It's All Relative A tired hunter out in the wilds stumbled into a camp. "Am I glad to see you," he said. "I've been lost for three days." "Don't get too excited, friend," the other hunter replied. "I've been lost for three months!" :) :) :)

A Great Rhyme A little old lady from Newfoundland had worked in and around her family dairy farm since she was old enough to walk, with hours of hard work and little compensation. When canned Carnation Milk became available in grocery stores back in the 1940's, she read an advertisement...

The Secret Shoebox A man and woman had been married for more than 60 years. They had shared everything. They had talked about everything. They had kept no secrets from each other except that the little old woman had a shoebox in the top of her closet that she had cautioned her husband never...

Yes, you are probably right, there are many important gradations in our political system that often go unnoticed. And the demarcation lines shift with time too. Both parties want peace and prosperity, but they go about it in somewhat different ways. I believe that war is bad (almost) all...

I disagree. Kennedy started the war in Vietnam and Johnson escalated the hell out of it. Whatever Nixon (and later Ford) did they were trying to get out of it and managed to get it done - very badly - but done. Then, Democrats (who were gradually losing power) worked very hard, for years, to...

Observations "Now, that looks like a happily married couple," remarks the husband. "Don't be too sure, my Dear. They are probable saying the same thing about us," replies the wife. :) :) :)

Truth is, most Americans are right in the center of the political continuum. Words and some momentum comes from the right and left sides, but, at the end of the day, the politician who is seen as the more reliably centrist wins.

Corporate Life # 30 “How long have you been working here?” “Ever since the boss threatened to fire me!” :) :) :)

Valid Complaint A man complained to his landlord about the tenants in the apartment over his: "Many a night they stamp on the floor and shout till 2 in the morning!" When the landlord asked if it bothered him, he replied, "Not really, for I usually stay up and practice my trumpet till...

For Better Or Worse Marriage is like a railroad sign: first you stop, then you look, and then you listen. And yet, despite all precautions, some of us get transfixed and carried away, or run over... :) :) :)

A guy was driving when a policeman pulled him over. He rolled down his window and said to the officer, "Is there a problem, Officer?" "No problem at all. I just observed your safe driving and am pleased to award you a $5,000 Safe Driver Award. Congratulations. What do you think you're going to...

English Language Cont'd All lovers of the English language might enjoy this . . . There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that is "UP." It's easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in...

Can you read these right the first time? 1) The bandage was wound around the wound. 2) The farm was used to produce produce. 3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse. 4) We must polish the Polish furniture. 5) He could lead if he would get the lead out. 6) The...

Remember, They Vote Some guy bought a new refrigerator for his house. To get rid of his old fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying: "Free to good home. You want it, you take it". For three days the fridge sat there without even one person looking twice at it. He...