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THE LEARNING CENTER FOR ADULTS REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED BY Friday, February 23, 2007 NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM. Class 1 How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays -- Step by Step, with Slide...

A Day At The Zoo A policeman brought four boys before a judge. "They were causing an awful lot of commotion at the zoo, your Honor," he said. "Boys," said the judge sternly, "I never like to hear reports of juvenile delinquency. Now I want each of you to tell me your name and what you were...

Is This Funny? A duck walks into a job center and says to the man behind the desk 'Excuse me; I'm looking for a job. Can you help?' The man can't believe it and replies 'Hold on a minute sir, I'll make some inquiries for you'.... The man then phones up a showbiz agency and explains that...

Just One Of Those Days/Encounters Man: Is this seat empty? Woman: Yes, and mine will be too if you sit down next to me! :) :) :)

A REASON TO DRINK? A man and his wife are dining at a table in a plush restaurant, and the husband keeps staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sits alone at a nearby table. The wife asks, "Do you know her?" "Yes," sighs the husband. "She's my ex-girlfriend. I understand she...

Question Of Ownership Late one night a mugger wearing a ski mask jumped into a path of a well-dressed man in New York and stuck a gun in his ribs "give me your money," he demanded. Indignant, the affluent man replied, "you can't do this – I am a United States congressman!" "In that...

UNDERSTANDING GENESIS In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the Earth and populated the Earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow and red vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives. Then using God's great gifts, Satan created...

Sad, But True We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk, and the next twenty-four years telling them to sit down and shut up! :) :) :)

What's A New Hat Worth? A seasoned lady was standing at the railing of the cruise ship holding her hat tight so that it would not blow away in the wind. A gentleman approached her and said, "Pardon me, madam. I do not intend to be forward but did you know that your dress is blowing up in...

Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road? DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on "THIS" side of the road before it goes after the problem on the "OTHER SIDE" of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid...

The World's Shortest Psychiatric Joke A man walks into a psychiatrist's office wearing only underwear made of Saran Wrap. The psychiatrist says, "Well, Sir, ...I can clearly see you’re nuts!" :) :) :)

MARKET WISDOM A wise old gentleman retired and purchased a modest home near a junior high school. He spent the first few weeks of his retirement in peace and contentment. Then a new school year began. The very next afternoon three young boys, full of youthful, after-school enthusiasm, came...

Sorry, again... An old man is talking to his friends: “I’ve got my health, everything is fine, my mind, knock wood… ... ... who’s there?" :) :) :)

Sorry... A descendant of Eric The Red, named Rudolf the Red, was arguing with his wife about the weather. His wife thought it was going to be a nice day, and he thought it was going to rain. Finally she asked him, how he was so sure. He smiled at her, and calmly said, "Because Rudolf the Red...

Corporate Life #43 New Company Policies: 1. Dress Code It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise. If you dress poorly...

The link below is the newest game to make you want to put your mouse through the monitor. The object is to get rid of the numbers, in numerical order, in the fastest time. You don't have to click on the number, just touch it with the cursor. Forget it if you have a laptop without a wireless...

On Chain Email http://info.org.il/irrelevant/may02-smilepop-soapbox4.swf :) :) :)

The Squirrel Story There were five houses of worship in a small TEXAS town: The Presbyterian Church , the Baptist Church , the Methodist Church, the Catholic Church and the Jewish Synagogue. Each of them was overrun with pesky squirrels . One day, the Presbyterian Church called a meeting...

HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHOM TO MARRY? (Written by kids) You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming. -- Alan, age 10 No person really decides before they grow up who they're...

PC Good Wishes From us (the "wishor") to you (hereinafter called the "wishee") Please accept without obligation, implied or implicit, our best wishes for an environmentally-conscious, socially-responsible, politically-correct, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral, celebration of the...