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Another Great Oldie Some guy bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid of his old fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying: "Free to good home. You want it, you take it." For three days the fridge sat there without even one person looking twice at it. He...

Now, THAT'S funny!!! :) :) :)

Aren't There Any More Clean Jokes? One day a cowboy riding the plains, came upon a warrior with his head down on the ground with his ear on a wagon track. The warrior looked up at the cowboy and said "Wagon with two horses, one brown, one white, man with beard drive, smoke pipe, woman ride...

Value Of Information Two hunters from Chicago hire a pilot to fly them to Canada to hunt moose. They bag six meese. As they start loading the plane for the return trip home, the pilot tells them the plane can take only three animals. The two men object strongly, stating, "Last year, we...

So, Why Bother? A man asked his wife what she'd like for her birthday. "I'd love to be eight again." she replied. On the morning of her birthday, he arose early, made her a nice big bowl of Coco Pops, and then took her off to the local theme park. What a day! He put her on every ride in...

Ahh, To Be Young And Stupid Again... A young man at this construction site was bragging that he could outdo anyone based on his strength. He especially made fun of one of the older workman. After several minutes, the older worker had enough. "Why don't you put your money where you mouth...

More Fun In The Air 1. "Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but we'll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you, and, especially, your money, more than Southwest Airlines!" 2. "Your seat cushions can be used for...

Corporate Life #41 The general manager of a large investment bank asked a new employee to come into his office. "What is your name?," was the first thing the manager asked. "It's John, Sir" the new guy replied. The manager scowled. "Look, I don't know what kind of a namby-pamby place...

Let me answer your question marks: step 2 - a miracle happens... :) :) :)

Fred's Last Words Of Wisdom Ol' Fred had been a faithful Christian and was in the hospital, near death. The family called their preacher to stand with them. As the preacher stood next to the bed, Ol' Fred's condition appeared to deteriorate and he motioned frantically for something to...

Prepare To Laugh In Spanish It is a well known fact in Texas and all over the Southwest that lawyers should never ask a Mexican American grandma and ex teacher a question if they aren't prepared for the answer. During a trial in a small town in south Texas , the prosecuting attorney...

The Eager Salesman A little old lady answered a knock on the door one day, only to be confronted by a well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner. "Good morning," said the young man. "If I could take a couple of minutes of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in...

Good Quote On Value Proposition Every year I try to notice and record the best bull$&@# quote from vendors. The winner this year: Vendor (broker): Who are you trading with? Me: I trade the eminis through IB Vendor: What do you pay there? Me: Depends on the contract - between $3.6 and...

I liked this show better than the previous two. There was more optimism in the air and the average vendor had better answers to my questions, which made a difference to me. Of course, by now I know most of them and, since I don't trade Forex and didn't want to talk to the exchange folks or the...

Force Of Habit The passenger in a taxi leaned over to ask the driver a question and tapped him on the shoulder. The driver screamed, lost control of the cab, nearly hit a bus, drove up over the curb, and stopped just inches from a large plate glass window. For a few moments everything was...

Cheap Shot: Temperature In Chicago 60 above - Floridians wear coats, gloves, and wooly hats. Chicago people sunbathe. 50 above - New Yorkers try to turn on the heat. Chicago people plant gardens. 40 above - Italian cars won't start. Chicago people drive with the windows down. 32...

This all sounds very poetic but, of course, the man forgot to tell his grandson that he was also born around the time of a "market correction" that lasted about 15 devastating years, before the civil rights movement and while life expectancy in this country was less than 50 years... :) :) :)

Truth Be Told A well known journalist was asked to address a group of Catholic priests and bishops at a sumptuous affair that was held for them every year at a luxurious hotel, arranged by a wealthy benefactor of the Church. "Good evening estimed Fathers, I'm honored to be speaking to you...

A Well Known Fact Anytime you see a young man open a car door for his girlfriend, either the car is new or the girlfriend is. :) :) :)

Another Great Oldie A couple is dressed and ready to go out for the evening. They phone for a cab, turn on a night light, cover their pet parakeet and put the cat out in the back yard. The taxi arrives, and they open the front door to leave. Suddenly the cat they put out scoots back into...