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Just back from trick/treating. We got a lot of cash but skipped on the candy. I dressed up as a lawyer and my two kids dressed up as "slip" and "fall". for desired effect I had them wear signs. Basically I had one or both of them trip on the steps and ta da, dad shows up to settle out of...

I just read that story. "Land of many cell phones, fewer toilets" My first thought: next up is every mud hut has a computer and wired for internet.

I just posted a few examples. I have more..... dozens more, but I'll spare you and me the details.

I live on a very interesting street in a primarily Rep town. Seems the Dems on the street always have the most problems. For example, guy gets new furnace installed, half a dozen call backs. They buy a new car and bada bing, they end up with a dent, that sort of thing. I've just noticed the...

"22 injured in Turkey explosion" Fucking hell, that must have been one cool dinner party.

Obama mentioned he thought we'd work together as Americans after he was elected. (Uniting the Dems and Reps). On the flip side his first words were "We won". :eek: when referring to Rep suggestions.

I saw a guy sitting by himself in the pub. He didn't seem to have any friends so i thought i would start a conversation. I said "Have you read anything interesting recently?" He replied, "No", so i said "Well, you must have read a book or a magazine". Again he answered "No"...

You guys are going to have to work for this joke. Go to Google maps. Get directions from "Japan" to "China" using Google maps, and look at instruction number 43. lmao

You guys are great. An invitation for golf, some advice when shopping in France. :D

I like ball busters. Mark is at the top of the list. Good for him.

protecting the president against natural and unnatural threats to his wellbeing is a very high priority. Apparently, that priority doesn't include getting vaccinated as soon as possible against the H1N1 flu virus. ---------------------- The logic offered by the White House is that as a...

TIP: If you do not own or cannot find a pair sunglasses, you can always wear your AIG shirt.

I think people who wear sunglasses indoors are just trying to draw attention to themselves, even more so if they've got a dog.

Sorry for staring at your tits... I thought I was wearing my sunglasses

Bill Clinton on Obama during Obama's presidential run (remember?) "a few years ago, this guy would have been getting us coffee,"

I had a few customers who were assholes. Guess what I know that they didn't? I overcharged them. Ahahahahaha:D Now sometimes circumstances wouldn't let me overcharged them...what to do? Umnnnn.. sorry, too busy...can you wait 2 weeks or a month... (then maybe after waiting I'll think of way...

"I can't believe I outlived my dick" -------- Willie Nelson

I was at bingo the other night, when the wife's number came up. She didn't win. She had a heart attack and died.

Ozzie Obourne health columnist for Rolling Stone. Dear Ozzie, Ever talk to your kids about drugs? "Yea" ...... "Can I have some?"