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A woman was having a passionate affair with an inspector from a pest-control company. One afternoon, they were carrying on in the bedroom together when her husband arrived home unexpectedly. "Quick," said the woman to her lover, "into the closet!" She hurried him in the closet stark naked...

All Divorces Start With Marriage Remember; Marriage is the number one cause of divorce... Statistically 100% of all divorces started with marriage! I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always. I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months. I don't like to interrupt...

We think of our 8-year-old cat as family - alwasy have. That story where those rednecks barbecued that cat and stood around and laughed - I was so mad I wanted to barbecue those fuckers' balls myself. Some people are truly sick specimens. Good to hear Shreddy's doing better. We're pulling...

We used to call 'em skidmarks in the ole shorts :D

Actual E-mail Addresses 1. Helen Thomas Eatons (Duke University) - eatonsht @ dku.edu 2. Mary Ellen Dickinson (Indiana University of Pennsylvania) - dickinme @ iup.edu 3. Francis Kevin Kissinger (Las Verdes University) - kissinfk @ lvu.edu 4. Amanda Sue Pickering (Purdue...

Thanks, Dottom, for condensing 6 pages of CME jargon into something intelligible!

I screen capped this from the cme a while ago. I can never remember which opens at what time.

Nitro - My cat escaped a few years ago, for 2 days. I couldn't concentrate on anything that weekend. I know what you're going through. The best wishes to you and Shreddy, Regards, Tech

How about a token charge to a credit card, say 1.00? That will acomplish 2 things. 1, accountability and 2, duplicity. Not many people have 10 different cards that they could register under. And then by charging them a buck to register (or 5.00 or whatever) I think they will think it's not worth...

We've got that right now. Am I missing something? :confused:

Really. There was a nice 20-point NQ and a 9-point ES run there.

Also if you're on broadband don't forget your modem/router/hub and just hope your cable company's demarc box is still lit. A car or marine battery can power one of those APC units for quite a long time, by the way. Most of them run on 12V.

"Not now, kid. Can't you see I'm busy?"

A Charlotte, NC, man having purchased a case of very rare, very expensive cigars, insured them against fire among other things. Within a month, having smoked his entire stockpile of cigars and without having made even his first premium payment on the policy, the man filed a claim against the...

What's his excuse for recommending TYC CNXT and NT back in Dec, right at the highs? "Oh, I can't short stocks, oh I can't buy or sell for 5 days if I mention something on the radio , Oh my aunt has balls . . .." Yeah, HE maybe can't but he's got minions who take the other side of...

Yes you can select Check Margin from the menu across the top or from the order line. I can't remember what exactly are the keystrokes but it'll tell you the effect of the intended order on your account.

Welcome to the twilight zone of IB's account page. :D Your numbers will become more clear when you take a position in something, then your equity amounts will reflect remaining cash and available margin. It doesn't reflect that now because depending on the price of the stocks you buy, your...

Monday's long black candlestick that broke the 200-day MAon heavy volume was enough of a warning signal. At that point you're on borrowed time. I had that same thing happen to me on MHUT last year and it cost me almost 4 points on a fucken 7.00 stock no less. Never again.

Killer Biscuits Linda Burnett, a resident of San Diego, was visiting her in-laws and while there, she went to a nearby supermarket to pick up some groceries. Several people noticed her sitting in her car with the windows rolled up and with her eyes closed, with both hands behind the back of...

I have to port that site into IB so that anytime I trade on days like today it will come up automatically as soon as I get filled :D